It's my birthday so, doing birthday stuff.

Are they a couple? Huh...well, I guess I would describe it as terrifying.

That's an interesting question. Yes, some of the characters in my books drink beer. I don't always name a brand, but when I don't I give clues as to what kind of beer they are drinking. For example, Garrett prefers very dark stout, like Guinness. Meg doesn't like beer. She prefers wine or mixed drinks like fuzzy navels or daquries. Yvonne will drink just about anything, including beer--usually light varieties. If she had to pick a favorite, she'd probably say Bud Light or another domestic equivalent. Xyus will drink beer and wine, but prefers hard liquor straight from the bottle, usually vodka or gin...and he drinks massive amounts of it. Being a dragon, he doesn't get drunk, but he's found that if he drinks a lot while he's around humans, they tend to think he's drunk and don't mess with him as much. And if he does get into a fight, the police will be looking for a drunk guy and the dragon's human form can burn through the alcohol as it's consumed, making it seem like he hasn't had a drink all night. Max drinks Schlitz, because that was what his father drank while he was growing up, and because it's cheap. Aoni'a and most of the other dragons prefer fancier drinks than beer, usually expensive aged wines and liquor. Unlike most dragons, Fraise finds most of the products of human culture annoying, and as such doesn't care for their drinks. He will drink wine to maintain appearances, if the situation calls for it, but he doesn't really enjoy it because he knows it was made by humans--something dragons lack the creative impulse or ambition to make for themselves. Fraise would much rather just drink water, preferably from a natural source rather than a human municipal water supply. Since dragons can drink ocean water without risk, and his lair in Wales is on a cliff overlooking the ocean, this is usually where he goes to get a drink.

I didn't realize that. That's actually a really good idea. Thank you for suggesting it!

Losing my teeth. Seriously. That's like a major phobia of mine. It's called honondasdontiaphobia. I brush my teeth several times a day and avoid sugary candy. Fear of having a tooth knocked out kept me from playing sports in high school...well, that and being really bad at them. But yeah, losing my teeth. Major fear.

There are some who call me...Tim.

Or getting asked them. I have a lot of jackass friends and fans who love to troll me. Let me give you an example of the kind of ridiculous questions I get asked...these are current, copy-and-paste, unanswered questions in my Formspring inbox sent by anonymous friends, fans and sometimes strangers:

"I gave an abortion to my neighbor's dog & now my neighbors are mad at me. Are they right to be mad? On an unrelated note, did you know dogs can talk & cry & wear dresses?"

"Did you know that most women have had wieners in them? That's weird!"

"Why can't you believe anything Bruce Banner says?"

"FOOTBALLLLL"

"YOU JUST WOKE UP NAKED IN BED NEXT TO ME. Using only 3 words, what would you say to me? ...Note: If you comment, you must copy and paste this as your status. So I may comment on yours as well. Be a good sport. Play along"

"HOW OFTEN DO YOU PEE IN A DAY? URGENT QUESTION PLEASE ANSWER, PLEASE!"

"Okay, who would you not shoot?"

"I wanted to see if that movie 'Kick-Ass' was realistic, so I picked a fight with a little girl. I won really easily, does that mean I'm a super hero now?"

"I just watched Old Yeller & the fucking dog didn't talk through the whole damn movie. In fact it was pretty quiet. What the fuck?"

"Did you know Tracy Hickman is a dude? This whole time I thought it was 2 chicks that made Dragonlance. What a world..."

Yeah, so THAT is what I deal with on a daily basis. And those are some of the tame ones. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Because it takes a while for the hydro to kick in and passes the time.

Sure, I'll be your friend.

OMG he's having a seizure!!!

I disagree. This shit was never cool.

Good question. Who the hell are you?

Only if your web camera wears a condom.

My prejudice against ebooks is entirely irrational and stupid. Allow me to explain. Three years ago I purchased a Kindle 2 (when they first came out) and was in love with it. Then it got stolen or lost. I attempted to use my iPhone Kindle app to read my Kindle books, but I'm still so angry about losing the Kindle that I just can't bring myself to get into ebooks again. I KNOW! See, completely stupid.

I prefer regular books just because I like the idea of having a collection of books to pass on to my children. I love the way rooms full of books smell, and am in love with the idea of someday having a room in my home that is devoted entirely to books and reading. On the other hand, I know authors get higher royalties for ebooks. In my contract with my publisher, I get a higher royalty for ebooks. So I should love ebooks. I really should. And maybe when I get a new laptop, I can start reading them again. And I'll probably start with this one, by my friend Lynn Rush: http://crescentmoonpress.com/books/Wasteland.html

A couple of years ago, I had this job working for a state agency. I was very unhappy, and I realized that all the work I'd done in college and life to get to this point had landed me someplace that I wasn't happy. I thought this over for a while about why this was, until I realized that all my life, I've been making the "safe" choices because I never thought I had a chance to do what I really, always wanted to do: write fiction. Anytime I saw that the odds were against me, I went the prudent path. I don't know if there was an exact moment, or if it was a gradual realization, but I decided that the only way I was going to be happy with my life was to take a chance at what I wanted to do, and that even if I did it and it didn't work out, I'll know I tried and never have to wonder what could have been.

To avoid getting hit by them.

Jesus...Mom, this again? And on Formspring?

Never getting older.

Yeah, but not the way you're thinking.

If I join do I get to see you naked?

I would probably try to build a castle. But, I'm pretty sure I'd run out of those long, skinny legos you use to make the walls and have to resort to using shorter ones until I got down to the two-by-one pieces...which would suck because then my wall would be all different colors, and at some point I'd get the math wrong and there would be one extra segment of lego than I needed, putting me in the unfavorable position of deciding whether to leave a hole in my wall or have one little chunk of lego stick out. Either way, I'd get disgusted with the result and decide to use the incomplete castle as a ruined bunker for my plastic soldiers.