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Hmmm, good question, i would say it really depends on your situation in the present... do you still have feelings for this ex? are you with someone new? did things end badly between you guys?
Depending on the answers to those questions, i would probably still say: go and see what he/she has to say! Even if it's not to re-kindle the flame, you might get closure from that last dinner conversation together.
Just remember, if he was an ass the first time around, most likely he'll be an ass again -- regardless of all the “wining and dining” he might be prepared to do! Good luck!
Ask me anything @ Formspring.com -
Hmm this is a hard question. Sadly because i can think of SO many things exes have done to hurt me. But i definitely know which one tops the list...
It's THE most hurtful thing anyone can do to someone they love: and that's cheat on them. My ex (not my most recent love, but the one prior) cheated on me after a year of us dating. He cheated on me with his ex. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I can't explain the devastation. Only someone who's lived through it can understand. You need to be really strong to pick up the pieces and move on...
And that's where my most recent ex pops into my mind... hopefully he's not reading this post :S I guess i won't know whether he does or not... basically, he decided after 6 months that he couldn't love me for who i am. For reasons that are hard to explain. But for me, who had finally opened my heart to be vulnerable again, it was devastating and disappointing all over again. I still love him and miss him everyday. But i've come to terms with the fact that if he can't love me back, then i'm moving on. Thankfully i have great friends who are helping me do that.
Now for special and memorable moments.... yes there are lots (thankfully!) -- i will talk about my most recent ex because he is the one on my mind... I went away for a weekend in NYC for a friend's dirty-30 bday celebration. I'd been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months at the time. Midway through the weekend there was a delivery to my hotel room: a card wishing me a great weekend with my friends, truffles and champagne... signed from him. I never expected a gesture like that — it was so thoughtful ...That was the weekend i realized that i was falling in love with him...
Sigh... let's focus on the future girls! and all the “firsts” to come! Let's hope at least!! lol
— Roxy xo -
my ex.... but ssshhhh don't tell anyone ;)
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Thanks for asking that question! It's a big issue that couples do encounter all the time. I have some personal history regarding this type of issue, so if i allowed myself i would have soooo much to say.
However, there is one simple answer for you: If the friendship with an ex is bothering the current relationship (aka causing conflict between you and your boyfriend), and you CARE about your boyfriend and want it to work out, just STOP seeing your ex!
Plain and simple. Your partner should be your #1 priority. Not the ex who either broke your heart or that you dumped! Let him go, and try not to accumulate ANOTHER ex in the process!! hehe
If you care about the person your with, the decision should be simple. As an “ex” myself, i would understand! Wouldn't you? -
My favorite brand of lingerie is Blush Lingerie. You can view a few of my posts about that brand on my blog: http://roxysrendezvous.blogspot.com/search?q=blush&x=0&y=0 .
They offer sexy, high quality lingerie for an amazing price. My closet is full of their bras, undies and negligés!! check it out at www.blushlingerie.com
It's hard to choose something for your friend's birthday though!! Unless you know her sizes and have a good eye for her style...it might be hard to pick out something she's guaranteed to love. Maybe the corset on their homepage? It's FABULOUS, i would LOVE to get that as a gift!!! (wouldn't we all?! lol)
Good luck , and let us know what you choose!!
— Roxy xo -
Yes, and yes. Almost every one of my serious relationships have had break-ups and make-ups ... I think every situation is different though. Some people need the drama and fights to resolve issues and move forward, others can call it quits immediately, with no room for reconciliation...
I think a lot of the time, people do tend to stay together out insecurity... especially if it's their first boyfriend and they started dating young.
How do you know he's the one, when you've never seen what else is out there?!
But that's a scary thought to many, and i think that's why people tend to stay in relationships that aren't healthy or happy. The dating world can be ruthless, and you need confidence to be successful. But the thought of finding someone who can love you unconditionally is worth the risk!!
If you're scared of leaving your significant other, just remember this... I would rather be single, happy and rocking my own life, than in a relationship that's on-and-off-again and not satisfying me!
— Roxy xo -
I think in every relationship or dating situation, being the “chaser” and the “chasee” gets switched back and forth… it all depends on how much you like the person!! With people i feel a true connection with in the beginning, i'll definitely be more of a “chaser” to get things going between us!! hehe
Once the relationship has settled, i think that role switches back and forth. Often depending on events, situations and my moods! lol OMG i am completely ruled by my moods and emotions! It's sometimes a disaster! In my head, i feel like a raging maniac when it's that PMS-time of the month! I try to keep the madness inside so that people don't have to deal with crazy-emotional-me! During that time i become the “chaser”, but once i'm rational again i try to switch back to the “chasee”. Or at least i try… Us girls are complicated!
What about you? Do any of you choices stay one or the other? -
no i don't have that account. I might look into it, but i love formspring, so i probably wouldn't switch... :)
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HAHA good question : yes, i have hooked up with an EX after the break-up. This dates back to a while ago now though...
And anyway, doesn't that always happen when you break-up? LMAO
About if we can still stay friendly... that really depends on the situation and what you had invested. But I would say, most times, YES. But , don't forget, ALL the reasons you broke up are STILL THERE, so usually nothing productive can ever come of this “encounter”. Except a little pleasure for the parties involved ;)
— Roxy xo -
Oof. Ok it took me weeks to think about how to answer this. The person that anonymously asked me is hopefully still hanging around to get the answer! lol
So, the million dollar question: would i tolerate drug use?
Let me backtrack and give you a bit of history… i was in a serious relationship with someone for 5yrs. There was ALOT of weed involved. It ended up being the #1 argument we'd always get into. I don't mind marijuana on special occasions, or socially, but when it's in your home and affects your everyday life + your relationship, it becomes a problem. My ex was addicted. I mean it took over EVERYTHING. And when we were living together it consumed our whole relationship. Throw in some lying, his best friend who hated me, cigarettes, depression, and a shared apartment + abuse of my car = it was a recipe for disaster. And it self-destructed just like everyone expected it to.
So, i came out of that with the thought of weed as the devil. And made that my deal-breaker for the past 5+yrs.
Don't get me wrong, I am 29 yrs old, and know many chill guys and girls who smoke every once and a while to ease their mind. Just like sometimes i have a glass of wine at the end of the hard day. But i couldn't help but be petrified when the guy i'm seeing told me he smokes weed and cigarettes... Everyday.
So, now the hard question…will that be the deal-breaker in this relationship… i don't know yet. But i've thought about it a lot, and i've decided to NOT think of weed as the “devil” because you know what, this guy is sooooooo NOT my ex-boyfriend and so far i have yet to see him high (well i think once but it wasn't a big deal). Plus he is pretty freaking amazing. Yes, we don't spend all our time together, and yes i'm not living in denial that i'll never see it. Maybe once that day comes i'll have a gut feeling on if i can tolerate it or not. But until that time, I will give him the benefit of the doubt that it would never come between us… What I would like to know, but am not ready to ask… is…. was IF the weed DID become an issue between us, whether it be now or later, would HE be willing to give it up or cut down in some way? Not necessarily for me, but for himself, because HE'D WANT to be with me… basically… would I be more important that his herbs…
At the moment, I don't think i'd like the answer to that question… and i think that's what scares me the most. I was 2nd to weed for 5 yrs in my prior relationship, and i would not accept second place anymore…
— roxy xo -
Hmmm this is hard to say. And personal! lol But…. if i were to change one thing about myself physically it would be to have strong knees. This is nothing cosmetic. My knees look normal to everyone else, but they have been the cause of some serious problems my whole life. I've had to give up every sport that i loved; starting from gymnastics, track and field, tennis, my true love (SOCCER), any kind of intense dance that i've tried, and most recently cheerleading. Both my knees dislocate. At the worst moments too. And no knee braces or surgeries (which i've had) can really help. It's something i'm constantly trying to overcome so that i can try new things like snowboarding, hiking, rock climbing, rollerblading; and continue to do things i once loved like biking, playing soccer, or running the 100 meter sprint!!!! I miss it all so much…. :(
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OMG i will die if my family ever reads this!! So far i've managed to keep my blog hidden from my parents, so it's a pretty safe bet they will never have to know this about me…
So.. drumroll please…. kinkiest place i've ever had sex is on a balcony down south in the middle of the day overlooking the ocean and pool of the resort (and i'm sure a few bystanders that i didn't notice at the time)!! I'm blushing… no more embarrassing questions please! hahahaha -
haha yes i am ticklish, my feet especially. pretty seriously ticklish ;) LOL
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ooo i like this question. hehe let's talk MEN girls!!! ;)
Ok let's start with the physical. Men with ARMS kill me! Those strong arm muscles that can hold you just melt my heart. Especially when there are tattoos involved! But i think that goes without saying!! hhehe
The second physical trait on my list is EYES. I love when you can look into a guy's eyes and see his sensitivity, even though he may look tough and unphased on the outside. Love love love that! Feels like you can see his secret...
Ok, so emotional “hotness” — i find that's when a guy can talk about his feelings. When he can be honest. When he can entice ME to talk about MY emotions (which we all know is tough for me). When he can help ME deal with emotions by talking it out instead of shutting down and/or walking away.
I'm trying my best to be a good communicator in all my current relationships (with my guy, my girls & my work) because it's the key to ANY successful relationship. But it's hard. And for me, if i'm around people who ask questions and invite me to talk, i will be a better person.
What do you guys find physically and emotionally attractive? In men or women! I'd like to know! I'll be reading your comments below!
— Roxy xo -
so cliché, and i'm ashamed to say, but ... facebook.
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Good question!
I find this is kind of an important question at the moment because it IS important that my friends like my significant other. Even MORE important that my sister likes him!lol But that's a whole other story!! hehe
Friends are the people who are of most importance in my life and will be around BOTH of us if things start to progress into a serious relationship. I find it interesting to know what kind of vibes people get from the guy your seeing. Things that maybe you don't notice or even think of.
Actually, this past weekend, the guy i'm seeing met one of my best friends, AND my best GUY friends—JB and K. I didn't put any extra pressure before “the meet”, but it was imperative that these friends in my life (who are very protective of me) like the “new guy”!
And thank god that they did! What i found interesting, is that THEY noticed things that i didn't. Example: apparently i was sitting on the couch, balancing a baby and a glass of wine (sounds right up my alley right?! lol) and my guy walked in the room and immediately took the glass away and put it somewhere safe. I didn't even notice this. But, this is how my guy friend KNEW that this guy is a good guy! Funny huh? But it's true, my guy (who we TOTALLY need to find a name for now -- what could it be?) he's totally attentive and always pays attention to if i'm comfortable/uncomfortable, and without saying anything he fixes the situation. It's pretty damn nice to have someone thinking of you like that!
Anyway, all to say friends opinions are of utmost importance, as I'm sure HIS are to him! Luckily i already know his best friend, but i'm sure there are a bunch more to meet!
Thanks for the questions! Keep them coming!
—Roxy xo -
If he's really the love of my life, then I would say “let's go!”. Whether or not we stay outside this country our whole lives is another conversation! I've always wanted to travel and live somewhere different for a year! Otheriwse i would miss my friends and family too much...
Let's hypothetically hope this “dream job” is located somewhere cool!!! hahaha -
OMG this is such a tough question to answer!
If you are asking me this question, you must feel like sex isn't satisfying for you and/or your significant other?
I think there are many facets to a relationship, and sexuality is just ONE of those facets. HOWEVER, it kind of sets the tone for your intimacy. Feeling close to your partner is needed, and being intimate is usually the best way to express that...
I don't think this issue should immediately be a deal breaker though. You need to talk to each other and express what you like in bed, and what you don't like! It might be a bit of an embarrassing conversation, but well worth it. There are many fun books to buy out there (not just with impossible new positions) but with techniques, toys, questions to ask each other, and games! You can have a lot of fun discovering each other, and for sure can resolve the “being bad in bed” situation.
I think the most important, is for you to express yourself and be honest about what turns you on, and your partner should be able to reciprocate what he or she likes as well.
Now go! Enjoy some good sex! hehe
— Roxy xo -
Great question. My answer = Dealbreaker.
My ex cheated. Not that he would admit it. But there was enough evidence to make it clear to me that i didn't deserve to be with someone who would go behind my back and lie to me. Especially with his ex! If someone can do that once, he could easily do it again. I can't judge all relationships, but in my opinion, if a guy's a jerk, he's always a jerk!
— Roxy xo -
hmmm are you sure you're not talking about me? lol I have to admit, it's hard to believe in love when things KEEP going wrong with men... it's hard on your ego, your emotions, and on your faith... and sometimes it seems like “giving up on love” is easier. I have to say though, when dates DO go well, your hope and belief in love re-ignite immediately. Your friend just needs to go on some GOOD dates where she feels pampered and cared for ;)
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Roxy’s Bio
Live. Love. Learn. Life is short, it's time to do the things you love! My friends are my heart, my family is my rock. I just turned 30 and i'm trying not to panic! I have a fabulous apartment in the city, and some crazy dating stories! Read, interact and
