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    1. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 16 Aug 10

      whos your favorite person evverrrr kiki or Crystal?haha

      I know a Kiki who reeks of the dopeness, but I haven't seen her in FAR.TOO.LONG.

    2. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 15 Aug 10

      Have you seen The 5th Element yet?

      No! I've been told to a million and a half times — mostly because everyone compares me to Chris Tucker's character. What an earth!

    3. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 15 Aug 10

      I've never seen so many non-sequiturs on one page.

      A revolutionary is born!

    4. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 15 Aug 10

      i hate that you never talk to me anymore :(

      Identify yourself, vandal! Let's see if we can change this!

    5. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 18 May 10

      Should i pack the typewriter?

      thirty-five

    6. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 18 May 10

      can you guess my question?

      I don't ever answer what I can't ask you to answer what I cant ask you to answer what I can't ask.

    7. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 17 May 10

      Tomato and mayo sandwiches?

      Yoko Ohellno.

    8. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 16 May 10

      If i told you i would pay you 70,065$ right now if you would only adopt a crack baby / child (black,white,or pacific islander;your choice)...would you accept? (crib,pull ups,wipes,dora the explorer dvd box set Included)... (i gotta know by this thursday)

      Fair warning: baby's out by 16. FAFSA bitch.

    9. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 16 May 10

      whats the ugliest garment or accessory you see chicks rocking these days that is, so called, "in style" ?

      The mismatching of in-season tribal prints is hideously offensive and far too common. This more so than any single garment or accessory.

    10. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 16 May 10

      Another drink, Mr. Bastanmehr?

      Only if the price is in the triple-digits.

    11. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 16 May 10

      In the instant of a moment, what crosses your mind?

      Choice.

    12. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 6 May 10

      WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME?

      MARTLES.

    13. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 6 May 10

      Why you coming home at 5 in the mornin? Is somethin going on? Can I smell yo dick?

      Just 'cuz I broke bread with one or two strippers, that don't mean you gotta pull mah zipper.

    14. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 4 May 10

      Where do we go when we die? And how many people can I love at once when my dick gets wet?

      We go to whatever hell it is that those you 'love' have been resigned to.

    15. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 2 May 10

      I AM LITERALLY FUCKING IN LOVE WITH THIS/ALL YOUR ANSWERS/YOU. YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY ME AND BUY ME A HOUSE IN BEVERLY HILLS FULL OF CHIUAUAS. IM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. QUESTION: CAN I BORROW 3 DOLLARS?

      But Edie, I already paid you, remember?

    16. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 1 May 10

      Who do you love when you only have this one life to live?

      My dear friend Janet Alexander is worth every bit of love this life we live has to offer. Long live this love for life that we live and love!

    17. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 30 Apr 10

      What work of fiction do you wish was your life?

      I already live like Gatsby.

    18. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 30 Apr 10

      How many poops?

      Many, money. With me say many, many, many.

    19. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 29 Apr 10

      What will be the first words out of your nasty little mouth when the universe rains down billions of flopping fish onto planet earth on December, 21st 2012?

      "Ohh lord, how high am I?"

    20. Rod Bastanmehr
      rodbastanmehr 29 Apr 10

      If you were a box, what would be inside?

      A carton of spilled milk and an issue of Vogue.

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Rod Bastanmehr’s Bio

I'm two chardonays away from ruining your wedding reception. A minimalist, I am not.