I found Formspring first. I like that you don't need to sign up to ask a question. It plays nice with Twitter.

Not that I am aware of. I would be happy to hear of any such projects.

War is such an ineffective and destructive way to have conflict, and leaves almost everything significant still to be decided and healed. I would be very interested to see another approach developed by those who continue to search for change and connection.

I have been a student and colleague of Marshall's for a decade and a half now, and his work has had a profound effect on me.

I met Marshall about a year after I began the conversations that gave rise to RC. I continued learning with him as RC took shape. I met him several times during the 1990's and then hosted him in Brazil 3 times during the 2000's. In 2003 I took him to the favela where RC had first began, to see the work there. In 2005 he and I presented at the World Social Forum in Brazil, and then to the first legal institution to host one of the Ministry of Justice's 3 pilot projects in Restorative Justice. During that visit we also visited a youth prison and worked on a live conflict between a young detainee and a member of staff.

The first and most significant influence NVC had on my understanding of RC was that it gave me a vocabulary and a conceptual framework for what I was observing arising in our experiments in moving towards conflict. The dynamics that were repeatedly occurring were ones NVC had names for. Before NVC I was using dance terms to understand things. I liked them (I still do), but I found NVC terms more useful. NVC also providing a way of understanding why RC worked.

NVC helps make power visible, and enables those facilitating an RC to track the co-construction of meaning and the arising of a circle, where power is shared. Not all those facilitating know or like NVC - it is not necessary to know or like it. But those who do, find it a useful way to follow the conflict as it unfolds and the Circle moves forwards.

I like to think of RC being a application that can be built with the source code that NVC provides. Or of NVC as a wine which is well held in the bottle of RC. It can also be seen as a social application of the principles of NVC.

However, they began independently and are not the same thing. I learned NVC very slowly (and am still a student), and had little access to experienced people while RC was growing. The book wasn't out yet, there were no videos, and I lived far away, with no internet.

Later, my growing understanding of NVC was very influential in showing me how I could share RC with others. And, as my interest in sharing it grew, I noticed that RC changed and deepened my understanding of NVC - for which I am very grateful.

I hope these words spoke to your question.

Hi Wolf and Alannah,

I just saw this. Thanks for the suggestion.

Please send such offers to contact@restorativecircles.org It will be easier for us to dialogue with you about your plans there. I look forward to being in touch.

Once the connectedness that makes communication possible has been restored - a process the Mutual Comprehension and Self-responsibility phases are designed to assist - many participants find that they are able to accurately hear both the words and the intended meaning they are offering each other. In such cases, there'll be no need for the dialogue questions.

If that ceases being the case, those questions are always there. Technically, we could say that - in such instances - we have momentarily returned to Mutual Comprehension.

As the question is cut (Formspring only allows us a few lines to form out questions) I'm not sure of all you are asking. (For longer questions, try joining our email list here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Restorative-Circles/ )

However, it sounds like you are unsure if a 'conflict community' member will define an act for a Circle that other people involved will recognise as such. To increase the likelihood that this is so, seek an actual quote or directly observed action. If necessary, strengthen the understanding of the intention behind the restorative system - so that the wider community (from which the author and receiver and other conflict community members invited will come) are aware how community cohesion and general we being can be increased by responding to concerns in Circles.

I hope this speaks to your query. Again, please re-post the question on the email list for fuller responses.

Hi,

Your message gets cut off before the end, but from what I can gather you'd probably find what you're looking for by writing your request to the email list. There both I and others can share our experiences both with doing Circles with young children and with assuring their parents.

You can join this list here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Restorative-Circles/

Hope to hear from you there soon!

Now you asked it here, I guess others might be curious too!

But generally I suggest that Formspring is used exclusively for questions directly related to the doing of the work - restorative systems and the different stages of Restorative Circles specifically.

For more personal enquires I suggest the Yahoo email group or a private email to contact (at) restorativecircles.org

Thanks, Heidi

At the moment the best resources are to be found by connecting with the RC community online. I suggest starting by joining one of the Yahoo email groups, and asking your question there. You may find people in your country, or with other relevant experience in starting a restorative system in cultures they are (relatively) new to.

In the near future we will have more video materials, that will - I hope - respond to some of your doubts.

You can sign up to the emails lists on our web site: http://www.restorativecircles.org/pages/contact-and-community

You can also watch initial video materials there too: http://www.restorativecircles.org/pages/video-vnJgu

Did this help?

Over time I have seen communities starting to come to some agreements about such issues, so that they can be considered up front and then guide the choices each time they come up.

The tendency I have noted is that more restorative results are more likely when the actions of those caring for different aspects of the system are aligned with those that the members of that system have previously considered and chosen.

I would, then, make a note of the occurrence and bring it back to the wider community. In the meantime, inclusive choices - when they can be made in a way that cares for you - are probably more likely to be welcomed.

Hi Linda,

The use of ways of communicating over distance is a decision that I would expect the community that develop a restorative system to make.

I have participated in RCs involving different technology such as Skype. I certainly missed seeing the person, when we only had a voice connection. Video was a great help, when available.

I missed the unique complexity and depth of personal presence when the person wasn't in the room. And I was so grateful that we could go ahead, because without the technology the opportunity might not have arisen.

I'll be curious to hear how you use and experience such possibilities. Would you let us know?

Brief response: yes.

Picky response: Well, as in many situations when creating non-violent systems, the question is: who decides?

In this case: who decides "whether she really 'needs' to be there"?

I see my contribution as being one of clarifying the intention of the question "who needs to be there?" such that it is read quite literally. If I turned up late to a sporting event, folks would probably know that I mean the questions "Who's playing? What's the score?" literally. They'd likely know I need that information to get with the game. In this case, I'm arriving late at the conflict (even if I already have much information about it from other sources).

The main distinction I want to get across is that the question solicits an observation around who is already part of the conflict (because they have, to some degree, been impacted). This is different from asking people for a personal preference around who they would 'like' to be present.

This clarity - the one that responds to the question of 'who decides?' - is supported twice. First in the learning involved when the restorative system is first set up or when it is presented to new members.

It is then checked, in that all 'conflict community' members (in this case, the wife would be one of them) are also asked the same questions in the Pre-Circle, and there they self-identify as being part of the conflict when they give their consent, or not, to taking part in the Circle.

Thanks, Rebecca.

How we see each other in a Restorative Circle is quite personal. The complexity of relationships and the varied identities we present to each other will be affected by many factors, some related to the conflict we have, others influenced by past relationships, social images, etc.

I tend to avoid the word 'supporter' because it simply raises a question it does not answer, that is: supportive of what?

Restorative practices show us that - in ways many of us may find counter-intuitive - meeting, in dialogue, those we have harmed and those we have been harmed by can be 'supportive' of deeply transformative processes, liberating us from dynamics that hold our lives back and feed cycles of inner and outer revenge which can cause continuing pain, for ourselves and those around us.

Similarly, those we feel most close to, and who have our well being as their priority can - for all kinds of reasons - end up 'supporting' us in maintaining our lives stuck in the same cycles that restorative practices seek to transform. They may do this with sweetness and care, firmness and clarity. And yet their help does not help.

Thus I ask a very specific question - "You needs to be there?" - when I am first with each potential participant in the Restorative Circle. And I write down each name they offer. I don't question the way they describe or see this person. The process is theirs. I want to know who is part of this. They are telling me their response. I'll contact these people and invite them to the Circle, when it gathers, if they chose to be part.

I also avoid the word 'supporter' because I have seen it interpreted by some as an indication that there is fundamentally a binary dynamic to conflict, with two parties or groups in opposition. This makes the 'conflict community' - friends, neighbours, bystanders, colleagues, family members.... - seem invisible. They become invisible in the harm that they too may have experienced - and thus they may stay in a place of victimhood. And they become invisible in the extent to which they are potentially powerful collaborators in the development of sustainable responses both to what happened and to the conditions within which it happened (which they directly impact with their daily choices).

I want their voices heard fully, their experiences shared, their unique viewpoint received and their co-responsibility for the future on the table and actively contributing to greater safety and well being for all.

Hi! This question - like all the others - is asked of all those present. On what grounds would it be different?

However, it is asked of the 'author' first, as their action is the starting point for the Restorative process.

The acts of the others present are those they did in response to the author's action. They might describe what happened immediately after the author acted, or as soon as they heard of the author's act.

Does this help?

Great to hear, William. Looking forward to connecting more in the coming weeks.

Yes!

As far as I am aware groups have used RC in Belgium, France, Holland, Scotland, Ireland, Germany, Poland, Austria, Spain, Switzerland and Denmark.

There are general RC e-mail lists in English, German and French. The lists are great places to share experiences, request support and learn from those in the field on all aspects of Restorative Circles, sharing your learning with others. Some participants also meet up, online and in person, to share and deepen their ongoing learning in Peer Group calls and conference call practice - or Semi-simulated - Circles.

To join the English group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Restorative-Circles/

To join the German group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RestoraCircles/

To join the French group: http://fr.groups.yahoo.com/group/rc-facilitateurs/

Hi Amy,

I call this phase of the Restorative Circle 'Agreed Action', because it is here that those present discover the next steps they wish to take in the life of this conflict.

The sequence of choices that each participant agrees to represents their own 'Action Plan'. The Agreed Action phase is complete when each participant has their Action Plan, and it is agreed to by all those present.

The collection of individual and group Action Plans is referred to as the 'Agreement'.

Of course, each Circle is different and the degree to which the above manifests as described here depends on a wide range of factors.

Does this help?

Hi,

I suggest you join the Restorative-Circles yahoo group and ask. There are several active RC folk doing stuff in the Seattle area who are also active on the list serve.

To join the group, please click here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Restorative-Circles/

Hi Paul,

We have checked extensively with our bank, and the information listed on our website is accurate for all those transferring funds from outside the UK (where the account is based).

If you are in the UK, then the relevant numbers are within the IBAN code on that page. The first 6 numbers are the sort code (110503) and the next 8 are the account number (00 0089 58).

If you have any further difficulties, please send us an email to contact (at) restorativecircles.org

We deeply appreciate the community support we receive through financial contributions. We are funded exclusively through the donations of those who value our work, and this allows us both to offer the work to all those who would like it, and to savour the gift of every contribution given.

Hi Amy,

In principle, as the substitute at no point represents anyone, there is nothing to impede more than one person taking this on during a single restorative process.

In practice, to provide the greatest ease and clarity to all the others present, I would recommend maintaining the same person substituting, when that is feasible.

Substitution, as ever, is something I recommend be done by those with considerable practical experience in all aspects of live Restorative Circles.

I hope this helps.