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This is a bit of a ridiculous question. Clearly you have guilt about your promiscuity, or you would not being calling yourself a slut. If it is making you feel bad, then try abstaining and replacing the meaningless sex with activities that build your self esteem. That being said, there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. Just be honest with yourself about your feelings. And, use a condom!
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Outside of vintage- Madewell, Opening Ceremony, H&M (hit and miss)
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http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/12/ask-erin-2-fer-friday.html
Now, on to the second question. Your snooping was a little more intense, in that you were on their computer, not yours. There is a level of trust letting someone use your computer, that they won't go snooping around. On some level, I am sure everyone has something, somewhere on their computer, that could be embarrassing or misleading. So, you broke a little trust there on your end.
However, it would sketch a lot of people out to see their significant other taking a walk down sexcapade lane with their ex. I am sure it is ultimately harmless, especially with the ex living in another country, but I do think it needs to be addressed.
As I advised for the first questioner, you need to approach this with a calm discussion. You need to own up to your part, the snooping, and talk to them about what is going on. It's really the only way you are going to form trust again. -
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/12/ask-erin-2-fer-friday.html
I am not sure what you mean by flirting. Was it really flirting? Or might you be reading too much into it? As I have always said, if you open that door, to snooping, you have to be prepared for what you might find. I find that snooping rarely leads to anything good, for the snooper or the snoop-ee.
Now, rather than "confronting" him, I think you need to just tell him the truth. I find that holding that shit in will only damage the trust even further. So, you fucked up. An argument could be given that he wanted you to find it by leaving it open on your computer or that it means nothing since it was left out in the open. Either way, have a calm, sane, adult discussion. Better to live in the truth and learn to trust each other. -
I can't believe I am actually going to answer this one. I like the following flowers in no particular order- Casablanca Lily, Tuberose, Hydrangea, Gardenia, Rose. My favorite flower color is white. Feel free to send me any and all of the above.
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/09/ask-erin-its-hump-day-im-gonna-answer.html -
Cat people, please avert your eyes. To say I am not a cat person is to put things mildly. I don't like cats. They're pushy and they don't care about pleasing you in any way. They have stinky litter boxes and shed tiny little sticky hairs that glob on to every surface. Also, I am allergic to some of them. That being said, I have met the occasional cool cat. I have dear friends who love their cats, and I respect that. But, I am just not a cat person. It is potentially even a deal breaker for me with guys.
Dogs are awesome. Sure they have some flaws too, but at the end of the day, they want you to be happy. Cats could care less!
Speaking of dogs, have you met my dog, Pretty Lady? No, I didn't name her, but really the name suits her.
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/09/ask-erin-its-hump-day-im-gonna-answer.html -
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/09/ask-erin-its-hump-day-im-gonna-answer.html
Sadly, I think you need to file for divorce. Couples therapy will only work if you have a desire to be with him. He's not going to make you fall in love with him. It's one thing to work on things if the love is there, but once the love is gone, you're really just holding on to memories.
It's hard to let go, but you are hurting him more by staying when you know that leaving is inevitable. I have been there- feeling repulsed by someone you once loved. It's not good, and it has been my experience that the repulsion does not magically reverse.
You owe it to yourself, and to the man you once loved enough to marry, to sever your ties and move forward. When I was going through my divorce, the best advice I got was this- "You only have to go through this once." (I feel like I am often telling people to get out of bad relationships on here! I swear I am not a total cynic. Love is grand, but why suffer? Life's too short.) -
Well, as you may know, I am a Scorpio. My whole life, people have often had one of two reactions to this....."Ewwww" or "Oooooooooh." Astrological believers tend to have strong opinions about Scorpios- the good, the bad, and the ugly. You can find a basic rundown here. Have you encountered a problem with Scorpios? I'm just curious what prompted the question....
While we are on the subject of astrology, I highly recommend Susan Miller's weekly and monthly astrological forecasts. You can sign up for them. Do it. You know you wanna.
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/08/ask-erin-you-have-probably-already.html -
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/08/ask-erin-you-have-probably-already.html
I am not in love with my feet. They are fine but I don't know that I would call them pretty. Have you ever known people who had really pretty feet, but the face was sorta "eh?" Yeah, I have known a few of those. I am okay with the feet that I have. If you are a foot fetishist, looking for the perfect foot, I wish you bonne chance. -
Full disclosure- I may not be the best person to answer this. I stay close to exes, generally speaking. I have even been known to stay so close, that the ex reverts back to being a bf. But that's not your problem is it?!
Here's the bottom line, there needs to be a clear understanding of where you are both coming from. I do believe that friendship is possible with an ex. Furthermore, it can be totes rewarding, as they probably know you pretty damn well. Things go awry, however, when you want different things from the friendship. You need to be clear-headed and honest about your intentions with each other. And, it's really okay if you're not ready to do this. It can take time. These are murky waters after all.
So, if you are in a good place with each other, things feel clear and breezy- then go for it!
p.s. this question is so old that you probably already took or didn't take the trip...let me know what happened!
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/08/ask-erin-you-have-probably-already.html -
Yeah!!! That makes me very happy. How is it working out?
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Dear Broken-hearted,
I actually have quite a bit of experience in this arena, both in being broken-hearted and in being the one doing the breaking. Here's the thing.....it will get better. How quickly it does so is completely within your control.
The first thing you need to do is get outside, during the day. If you work inside during the day, make the time in the morning or during lunch (Or after work.....it's summer! It stays light late!) to go for a walk. Breathe deep, get some sun (but wear sunscreen!). You need fresh air. Trust me. The vitamin D from the sun, the fresh air, trees, life- you need these things right now.
Secondly, as tempting as it may be to drown your sorrows in alcohol, it might make you feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant. Also, you run the risk of drunk-dialing your heart-breaker and saying things that will make you feel much worse about yourself in the morning. Have a good meal and a glass of wine, if you can stomach them right now, but don't get trashed.
Now, the next thing is exercise. Get off your ass and go run or go to the gym or take a kick-boxing class. You will look better, you will feel better. The endorphins are gonna lift your spirit, at least temporarily, and regulate your mood.
Don't read or watch anything depressing. Also, no rom-coms. Go watch a mindless action film or a comedy that doesn't center around lurveeeee.
Clean out. Clean out your closet, organize your life, get red of clutter.
And if all else fails, focus on work and go sleep with someone new!
http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/06/ask-erin-turn-that-heart-frown-upside.html -
Yes, I did...for the most part. My mother was in L.A. and my dad was in NYC. So, from the age of 7 I went back and forth.
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Follow your dream and so what feels good.
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Oh, well too many stores went under or stopped paying. Just couldn't do it anymore.
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I hope it all works out for you. Please let me know. xo
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Thank you. I am starting to...
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http://rarelywrongerin.blogspot.com/2010/05/ask-erin-following-up.html
Yikes! Okay, i am not a lawyer, but I do share a child with an ex-husband. Even though she has primary physical custody, I assume that you share joint legal custody. Normally, this would entail that any medical decisions require the approval of both parents. If you are not sure, look over your custody agreement and/or consult a lawyer.
How far away do they live? This is important stuff here. I would do some research on the subject, arm yourself with information and approach her with a level-headed plea. As I said, I am happy to point you in the right direction with a well-known pediatrician, here in Los Angeles, who may be able to provide you and your ex-wife with alternative options. I really really hope this works itself out. Keep me posted.
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Erin Boyle’s Bio
I ramble about life, love, cinema, books, bad television, and many, many suggestions for you. Oh, and I love Lil Wayne, did you know that?
