[Celestia keeps her poker face but god this is SO embarrassing.]

. . . . .

[Celestia assumes she has some sort of questionable meta-plan in mind.]

I will discuss the matter with her. This is an... unexpected development.

Unless you mean to tell me that these physical laws float arbitrarily about independently of the entities which they affect, then what we perceive as physical laws are actually properties of matter and energy, and the space which they occupy.

In which case, if this matter and energy and space did not exist, e.g. "before the Big Bang", then if you will pardon my language what the hell do the laws matter? They didn't exist yet.

Before the Big Bang, if indeed such a time can be held to exist in conventional thinking, there would be no matter, no energy, and no space -- and therefore no physical laws, as they are natural properties of that matter and energy and space.

Thus, something such as an existence suddenly springing into being could have literally happened for no reason, because there /was/ no such thing as reason. Reason and sense were not things that existed at that time.

[Celestia makes the worst face imaginable while facing away and then turns around with her usual poker face smile]

What is it, Blueblood?

For the sake of argument I shall temporarily ignore the insinuation that murdering an infant would be acceptable under any but the most obtuse and unlikely circumstances.

Correct me if I am wrong, but...

... is this not the same religion that states the sin of the father passes down to the son? I seem to recall all men being considered sinful due to the sin of the first man, and a certain prophet giving his life in exchange for striking that particular sin off of the record.

And if this system is to be believed remotely consistent... then the child suffers the sin of the parent - namely, murder - correct?

Thus, murdering one's own child will also stain the child's record with the sin of murder, yes?

Murder done solely to spite, no less. Regardless of whether life on earth is intended to be excessive or humble, this "God" has still granted it as a gift to all people, and someone has attempted to exploit a loophole -- an insult to His gift and an insult to Him.

I confess that my imagination cannot construct a plausible scenario of any remotely competent god allowing such a glaring flaw in his or her soul traffic regulations. I would immediately send the deceased soul back to experience another life and obliterate the murderer from history.

Besides, from what I have read, this God shows no hesitation before levying massive retaliation for the slightest offense, and this is a rather major one.



[Celestia relaxes her furrowed brow, sips tea, and pretends she has ever trafficked a soul.]

Er...

I sort of keep them in an inbox and go over them with Luna near the end of the day.

This has the bonus of a filter so we can immediately skip over selfish or heinous wishes.

Snips's are deleted on sight.

(( These started getting sent BEFORE I mentioned Celestia had magic nice headphones so what the hell ))

(( anyways that's not the sound. ))

Please find enclosed an item that should help you considerably when assaulted by idiotic anonymous antagonists.

In exchange, please do not holler quite so loudly. My staff find it very difficult to keep the delicate ceramic vases and ancient portraits balanced and stable.



[Celestia includes some sort of... headphones in the shape of seashells.]

[The wearer finds all other noises blocked out, and the seashells play the one sound the wearer most enjoys hearing.]



[Celestia puts on her own set and smiles sadly.]

[Wonder what her favorite sound is...]

?

So there you have it, Palutena, you are hearing things.

[continues drinking tea]

Did I say jealous?

I didn't say jealous.

[turns and asks the staff]

Did someone say jealous?

[read: "shut up fatty now you know why i put up with Discord and Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon."]

[Celestia has wisely waited until Luna is alert, cheerful (so far as Luna goes), and her duties for the night have been taken care of.]

I am certain that Twilight Sparkle must have written to you already about a particular bogeymare who has been bothering Ponyville for quite some time. It is your domain, after all.

Twilight, after much strife, has uncovered details of the original pony who became this bogeymare, and found her to be a young filly around eight years of age named Shrinking Violet. Her personality is unstable, as her physical body contains both her own essence and that of a mid-level fear imp.

Twilight was able to converse with the demon's conscious self directly by retrieving the spellbook Violet used to summon it. The demon claims that it cannot be removed without great risk to Violet's life, and I see no reason to risk that it speaks the truth.

Now, as for why I have bothered you with these developments...

The demon also said that Violet could be "brought back" to some extent and given some semblance of a normal life, if she was trained to control her powers and to behave more responsibly -- as a traumatized eight-year-old girl she has had poor success in developing maturity.

The Elements of Harmony cannot think of a more capable dreamweaver than yourself, and would ask you to take Violet under your wing as an apprentice, to teach her not only the extents of her abilities but the benefits of using them wisely.

They contacted me for my approval, and under the circumstances, I can think of no better solution.

By caring for Violet, you will eliminate a troublesome threat. You will gain an aide for the moderation of the dream world and a specialist in nightmares. You will gain a resource whose insight into the ways and abilities of the bogeymare will be invaluable in dealing with any other rogue agents you encounter.



Will you help this poor girl, tainted by the same nightmare that took you?

I have.

Many times.

I hatched from the egg straight to Mega form.

[interjecting during this rant]

Blueblood.

Blueblood!

[Royal Canterlot Voice]

BLUEBLOOOOOD!

[levitates a comb for you to fix your swept-back hair]

You do not have a Black Heart Mode.

This is not Digimon.

I think you've got it down quite well enough already.

Cadance can banish ponies to the corner.

Twilight can sometimes banish ponies, but she doesn't do it on purpose. They just sort of... are repelled.

Well... That is Luna's power. You will have to take it up with her.

[laughs]

She and "Shimmerladder" have a very awkward relationship.

[worded that a very specific way.]