What dessert describes you the best?
BAKED Alaska! Get it bro, because it's HHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLAAAA baked!
Seriously though, probably like an Apple Fritter (and not just because I had one before lunch [shut up, mom, I'm an adult and I can do that shit!]). The Apple Fritter is one of those desserts that seems like a good idea as long as you can't actual remember the last time you had one. It's big, and covered in glaze and probably has some apple in there. That shit is the bomb. Then you get into it and it's hard and crunchy and there's nothing like produce to be seen within 100 yards of said fritter.
That's a lot like me because I'm crunchy and lots of fat people think I'm filled with fruit.