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All responses Most smiled responses
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Erm -- because people are stupid and jealousy is an ugly cologne? Yeah, let's go with that :)
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Plenty. Best example? Jerry Lawler vs. Andy Kaufman, which was set in motion by a segment on the David Letterman program!
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WWE is the McDonalds of professional wrestling. In short? They sell the *MOST* product, but not necessarily the most *flavorful* product. In other words -- the grand stage of WWE is simply not the kind of place that many performers either a) feel comfortable, or b) are permitted to bust out all sorts of flashy, unprecedented (and ocassionally, high-risk) stuff.
Why?
First, there's an accepted "main event style" that comes to homogenize so many of the guys at the top. There, it's a simple case of quantity over quality: styles clashes don't typically make for great matches.
Bottom line: WWE audiences are conditioned to accept certain performers (HHH, The Undertaker, Batista, John Cena, etc.) as "legit main eventers." And each of these guys work a certain style. If *those* guys -- who are all proven draws doing just fine with the established movesets, thankyouverymuch -- are working a certain style and remaining over with the fans along the way? Then it really doesn't make too much sense to have other performers pulling out all of the stops for arsenals that the established top acts simply could not replicate. Otherwise, you run the risk of the flash-in-the-pans getting more over than your established acts purely on the basis of one or two crazy new moves (think Canadian Destroyer). And once the audience's fascination with the flash-in-the-pan arsenal subsides? They immediately lose interest in the guy behind the move, and you've ended up costing yourself TWO main-eventers (or more) for the price of one as audiences turn their attention to the latest in a long line of flashes in the pan. -
Mark Henry is a journeyman, plain and simple. He's not particularly athletic (though he has had his moments, particularly when he was at his slimmest). And he's hit or miss behind the microphone, to boot. Not exactly a recipe for main-event success, ya' know.
So why does he remain employed YEARS after his guaranteed contract ran out? Mark Henry is naturally big, and thus he's a safe bet when other not-so-naturally big guys continue to get busted for steroids. On top of that, beating a big guy like Henry (no matter how poorly he's booked) automatically looks like an impressive feat regardless of who does it. Heck, the guy received a WrestleMania payday against THE UNDERTAKER, for cryin' out loud.
(Of course, Giant Gonzalez did too -- for much the same reason, as a matter of fact). -
I'd heard rumors of starting up a separate set of title belts for an X Division Tag Team division -- but rumors are just that, and it's hard to believe them until they actually materialize on the screen.
Best rumor I've ever read during my time on the fringes of the internet wrestling community?
"Perry SATURN and Val VEN[U]S will be forming a tag team called 'The New Heavenly Bodies,' and Trish STRATUS will manage them."
I'd say "you can't make this stuff up, folks" -- but obviously, somebody both can and did. -
Fun fact: Formspring limits the number of characters users can submit when asking a question. Sorry man! Shoot Mee an e-mail and I'll try to field your question next week.
(Obligatory p.s. -- my undergraduate thesis is a full five years out of date. While the research that went into the thing was certainly valid and applicable at the time of its writing -- there are a lot of things that have changed in the time since its publication.)
The spelling mistakes and punctuation errors, however, remain inexcusable. -
A) Not a question.
B) Not a complete thought.
C) All of the above.
Sorry man, wish I could help you. -
Not really, no. I miss being a kid, sure -- but the early 90s wrestling landscape was pretty downright laughable at times. Between the cartoonish WWF and the directionless WCW mainstream promotions, there wasn't really all that much to attract the attention of an older fan. Don't get Mee wrong -- that stuff was *gold* when I was 8 years old or so. But aside from the Bret Harts, the Shawn Michaelsziz, and the Mr. Perfects of the world? There was a whole lotta' WrestleCrap to be had in the early 90s.
The action figures, however, were PIMPIN! -
Yeeah -- that sounds about right.
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Ahhh -- so *this* is where all the trolls come to hang out when the 411 forums go down, eh?
(On second thought, let's not go to the 411 forums. It is a silly place). -
I'm not one to ignore a subject -- but in truth, a good number of us in the "411 family" have never actually met one another face-to-face, and thus it can become kind of difficult to keep tabs on people after they've mosied on down the proverbial trail.
Rule of thumb: if a writer "disappears without a trace and without a warning," chance are good that they flaked out without giving the site proper notice, and thus we were forced to scramble, cover for them, and pick up the slack at the last minute. Suffice to say, throwing a full-blown retirement party in a dude's honor is probably not at the top of our priority list. -
Wow -- great question! And thanks :)
Who'd be my top ten of the next ten, eh? Based solely on who I *think* will do well (and not who I *want to see* do well)? In no particular order, I'd probably say: Chris Jericho, CM Punk, The Miz, Jack Swagger, Randy Orton, John Cena, John Morrison, Samoa Joe (in WWE), Kurt Angle, and -- hmm -- Matt Morgan, maybe?
Okay, maybe that last one is a total shot in the dark. -
Long story short(ish):
I've been offered a teaching fellowship that will require a ton of my time and attention, and thus I will no longer have the kind of schedule that allows for regular weekly rants on this wild and wonderful pseudo-sport that I know and love so well.
Basically, I'll be teaching, writing, and researching like it's my job (ha!) -- and something had to give. On the bright side? They're giving me a substantial raise (huzzah!) and I'll have scads of time to dedicate to my "professional" writing endeavors. -
You don't really understand how "ask a question" works, do you?
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Jeff Small makes Ghandi look like a child pornographer.
Incidentally, I'm pretty sure Jeff Small posted a good number of the anonymous questions you see here before you -- and that's a SHOOT, brother! -
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All time? Miss Elizabeth.
Still living? Leticia Cline.
</discussion> -
Week in and week out, I find myself getting a real kick out of the Small-for-All News Report. Lansdell is probably my all-around favorite columnist simply because he knows his shit, but Jeff knows his role and plays it to perfection, which is really tough to beat. JP Prag is/was always another personal favorite, as was Ryan Byers' old iMPACT! recaps (simply because you could almost smell his seething frustration with every word on the page).
But yeah, the Small-for-All is probably a personal favorite among favorites. While other columns (this one included) can occasionally get self-indulgent, distracted, or just too damned wordy -- Small's work is typically on the money, mainly because he (more than most) seems always to remember that professional wrestling is inherently silly -- and thus it's fun to laugh at ourselves while watching along the way.
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John Meehan
Washington, D.C.
John Meehan’s Bio
writer, dreamer, dork.
