let me start by saying the only other relationship i was in was absolutely horrible, riddled with trust issues, malicious manipulation & infidelity (on his end). i was pretty convinced after that that i would never find anyone, that love was a joke & that marriage would be completely out of the question. i also would fall head over heels in love with a new dude every three weeks for the next two years after breaking up. i was an excuse maker, convinced that dudes always "really did care" when i was really just being an idiot.

but that changed when i set standards for myself. see, we're told that standards are bad or limiting, but the truth is most girls just date someone that is "cute" or "funny" and we ignore all the stupid shit they do from the get-go. once i decided that a man had to be a man to date me, i got one. i made a decision that the next dude i was going to date would treat me exactly how i wanted to be treated. so, any dude that made me feel like less of a lady-- whether it was waiting a week to call or making fun of whatever about me-- i'd cut him. also, my ex's roommate once told me, "you can't say the wrong thing to the right person." i took this to heart and literally was just ENTIRELY myself (for better or worse) around guys. i'd text when i wanted to text, say mushy shit, whatever. cause if it was meant to be, he would dig it.

once i had these two rules, i found someone who respected me and who loved me for who i was. and everything else is fucking easy. it's so easy! because they respect you and they like you for you.

it all starts with you. being committed to a relationship is simple when you're committed to being good to yourself. respect yourself, know what you deserve and you will get it. what you want is out there so just know it, know in the depth of your soul that what you want is out there, and don't accept less. obviously, this won't work if you're being fucking crazy (ie: "OMG HE DOESN'T HAVE BROWN HAIRRR"), but if you are genuine and honestly want a beautiful, mutually loving & happy relationship, you will have it! i promise! just do you girl, respect yourself & everything else will fall into place.

sorry this was so long & i hope it was helpful. <3