i am in support of open relationships. i personally wanted one w/my last lover but the lover wasnt into that was too into monogamy (i only wanted to fuck and didn't care if lover fucked others or was emotionally primarily partnered w/someone else). i was very clear that fucking my lover was something i valued and didn't want to end. i was also very clear that this lover was NOT the primary partner i saw myself with in the present or future. they were not emotionally available in the way i need and want.

i think that if you are clear about what it is you want, what it is your potential/current partner can offer and are honest with one another that it can and does work. i also think many people of Color who have opinions on it are very much unaware of what poly relationships are and confuse it with polygamy and cheating. i think they are also far too comfortable assuming they have control over other people's actions, and buying into the illusion that there is only one person who can fulfill everything we need in this lifetime from another person. talk about STRESS!!!

sometimes open relationships don't work for a lot of reasons, that are just the same as why monogamous relationships don't work (scheduling, values, belief systems, politics, family, dishonesty, death, changing needs etc.) but not because they are open. sometimes monogamous relationshps dont work because they are not open!

what would happen if every person was raised with love and acceptance to our opinions of open relationships? i think for many people the fear of losing love, giving love, exchanging love is so overwhelming it leads us to want something that may not be very realistic for some people like monogamy.

i also think many people project their own ish onto the open relationships we may have. what if people not in our relationsip realized our relationships are about our needs not theirs? what if we all realized that we do what is best for us at that time and if having one or more primary partners or primary lovers or companions etc. is what is best for us that is what we need to do at that time. we are always evolving.

i also think monogamy is a result of colonization but that will take me on a tangent.