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The last book I read was "The Shack" by William P. Young. The book is a Christian fiction novel. Here is the synopsis: Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever. In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant "The Shack" wrestles with the timeless question, "Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!
this book challenged my view of ... well quite honestly the Trinity of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It opened up a whole new world for me and helped me solidify what I have always wanted to believe about God. He is all loving and wants us to love others as he loves us!!! -
The TV ... Cause I can watch most anything on the computer thanks to the internet!!!
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This is actually a very long story and would take probably 30 minutes to tell you in person so I will give you the shortest version of it that I can.
In 2007 My ex-husband, David, had my boys with him and was either seriously injured or passed out drunk. My two boys, ages 2 and 3 at the time, got out of their house alone and crossed a normally busy 5 lane street to go play in a playground near their house. This playground happens to be next to a middle school, and the school resource officer found them. The boys led the officer back to the house where the officer was going to turn the boys over to their dad with a warning, but when the officer saw the condition of the house he was obligated to call CPS. At the time M and I had just gotten to Las Vegas. The CPS worker called me to tell me that they were placing my boys with the grandparents and that I had to undergo a ICPC. Its basically a foster parent certification. I thought it was ridiculous since they are my biological children but they said I had no choice since I lived in a different state.
Anyway I fought for a year, made six trips to Colorado to visit with my kids and go to different court things. In October 2008 we finally passed the ICPC screening and the courts sent the kids to me on a 30 day visit since they didn't have the formal approval in Colorado yet. They wanted to get the "reunification" started as soon as possible. During this time, M and I were having a lot of relationship issues due to his job and my stress over the whole case. We had lost sight of each other and our relationship. I stupidly made the mistake of inviting a guy over to the house while M was out of town for work. When M found out about the guy, I lied and told Him the guy was only invited over to the house to chat and that He forced himself on me. M told me I had to report it to the police and I did. Eventually over the weekend I began to fall apart over the guilt of lying but instead of confessing my lie I let the guilt run me. I started loosing my patience with the boys and wound up calling the child abuse prevention line. I asked them to get a hold of my case worker here and before I knew it I was handing my kids over to her that Monday afternoon. They were flown back with a case worker from Colorado and then placed in a foster to adopt home.
In February of 2009 I had to go to Colorado to relinquish my rights so that they could be adopted, and that was the last time I got to hold my boys. I have contact but its very limited, e-mails with pictures and some phone calls. I know the boys are healthy, safe and happy where they are and that is truly all that matters to me now. -
I am going to assume that the rest of this question says "beyond what I can physically handle?"
To answer your question bluntly ... M and I have spent years building my pain tolerance, learning what places could cause serious or permanent damage, and working through our issues together. If a "punishment," which we prefer to call correction or discipline, is needed then safe-words are not allowed period. If M does hit my tailbone or something happens to cause me to fear injury I am to immediately communicate that in as short a conversation as possible. I am not even truly entitled to my "safe-word" during my pregnancy.
However, recently, M decided to allow me the keys in all corrections until we have worked through as much of the past abuse that could cause me to hit a trigger and go into a space that would make the correction useless.
Within that, I am only allowed to drop the keys if the baby is in perceived or actual danger, such as contractions, or my stomach is hitting the edge of our massage table or I know I am going into a space that could render all the correction useless. I can't just drop them because it is too painful, after all if I could do that the correction would be ineffective and that would also be manipulation which would just gain me more correction once it was discovered.
As M likes to say "If I break my toy I can't play with her and I like to play with her!!"
Hope this answered your question ... and please feel free to ask future questions with your name. I will not bash you or anyone for the question you ask, the only thing i will do is ignore a question that is disrespectful or degrading towards M, me or my family in any way.
*Hugs*
Humbly M's,
Heaven -
Actually, in the beginning I used to test the boundaries so much that it seemed I was in trouble more than I wasn't. I think its important to test and know the boundaries in a M/s relationship because without them, in my opinion, its just like a vanilla relationship with some kink thrown in. Sadly yes there were times I willfully disobeyed M. And when that was discovered let me assure you I payed for it dearly. There were times I couldn't sit for a few hours because it was too painful.
Do I think it meant I'm not submissive ... no I don't. I think it meant that we were still finding out footing in the relationship and that just takes time. I don't think submission and testing boundaries have much to do with each other, in this case, if I am understanding your question correctly.
Submission is a gift that is given freely to whomever we choose to give it to. Boundaries are needed to establish a good pattern of expectations on both sides. For example, If I cross one of those boundaries, knowingly or not, I expect M to correct it. M also expects me to learn from that correction and observe those boundaries more closely.
Hope that answers your question!!! Feel free to keep asking more questions!!! -
Thank you for asking this question. I myself didn't know what the acronym stood for when I started this lifestyle. I learned so much from M and the local community, (CAPEX) we were part of in NC before we moved to Las Vegas.
To answer your question: BDSM has three different acronyms with in one, they are B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/S (Dominant and submissive) & S/M (sadism and masochism).
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Heaven’s Bio
I am the owned & collared slave of Master M. We are in a consensual Master/slave relationship.
