It was an example of realpolitik. Lincoln's hold on power was a bit tenuous in those days.

I'm going to pretend the prequels never happened, that George Lucas is a decent writer and director and that Han still shoots first.

Mark Mothersbaugh seems convinced it is, and who am I to question him?

They might, but you'd be bored by their answers.

Oh....and durian.

Why do you ask, Comrade?

Depends on your perspective. It tends to last a lifetime no matter what.

X wings. They look cooler and they've got more guns on 'em.

James K Polk, Napoleon of the Stump!

Blunderbuss! Ever try to beat someone's head concave with an unloaded ballista? They're.....unwieldy.

Aggressive aggressive aggressive. Two simply isn't aggressive enough. We're talking burn the city, sell the population into bondage and plow the earth with salt....and that's my *measured* response!

Ooooh....damn....that's a tough one, 'cause they're both fucking adorable! Let's go otters....it's hard to pet a hedgie.

Screaming, crying babies. Makes fingernails on a blackboard seem like a purring kitten.

Don't start one in the first place...'cause after that important decision, all bets are off.

Because he's a huge pussy. And, also because it would have made for a half-hour long play...which really would have pissed off the groundlings back at the Globe Theatre.

Well, it *sure* wouldn't be the Three Card Monty, and I was most *certainly* not a broad-tosser back in high school. Because it would be wroooooong....

I spend several hours every day completely unconscious. It's just one of my habits...tends to happen late at night and sometimes into the morning.

using fresh, dense bread and being cooked all the friggin' way through helps quite a lot.

Usually...but sometimes I skew the message to make it more interesting. For example I might substitute the word "hi" for the phrase "I think they're a twat".

Well, some truck driver from Memphis seemed to think it was the howlin' all the time, but I can neither confirm nor deny.

Yuppie douchebags.