Ask me anything
Ha! No? Seriously - a vibrator. Not the big, goal oriented ones you first think of, but a small, powerful, easy to use with one hand kind.
Because a nipple clamp is fun. But a nipple clamp with a little vibration? Zoom!
Tied up his cock and balls? Try running a vibrator across them. Teasingly.
Bound across the bed? Could be fun. Bound across the bed while your partner alternately teases, pleases and tickles with the vibrator? Awesome.
Don't use it with a goal in mind. Use it as a sensation. Run it across the inner thighs. The soles of the feet. Down the ribs. Across the top of the scalp.
Use it to tease and deny.
Keep in the the fridge on a hot summer day.
Do make sure to keep extra batteries close by - and if you are going to store it for any length of time, take the batteries out. To clean it, wash with anti-bactierial soap.
Stop by my site for more helpful hints. http://www.DeadCowGirl.com
That depends on how naughty they've been. Was it a real naughty? Or a role-play naughty. I have a two year old. I get enough of the real naughty at home. If it's real naughty? I'm generally just irritated and when Mistress is irritated, no one is having fun. Trust me on that one. Also? After being Dominatrix for the past umpteen years, I know that if you are being naughty in order to get a spanking, the real way to punish you is to put you in the corner and ignore you.
If it's role-play naughty? Then woman. Definitely. They generally wear less cologne. Also? Softer skin. Because if I'm going to run my bare hand across someone's naked ass? I want it to be smooth and soft. Women exfoliate in the shower. Men masturbate. Maybe men should take a lesson from the women on this one.
I love pantyhose. I know that I'm in the minority of women with this thought, so let me explain why. Yes. When it's 117 degrees with 97% humidity and you have places to go, and things to do, pantyhose are sorta nasty.
But! If you are half naked in the dungeon! Pantyhose cover up those varicose veins, firm up that tummy and even up that pasty white and red and "oh look, is that an ass zit?" tones of your average butt. They also smooth out cellulite.
I met Nina Hartley not too long ago and was amazed at the fabulous tone of her butt and legs. After all, she is older then me, and well, I'm freakishly old. As I got closer, I saw that she was wearing.... pantyhose under her g-string.
Oh. Wait. Did you mean... do I find them sexy? Only on my men, Darling.
I'm a little unsure if you question is one of ethics or privacy.
Are you worried she will be able to see what you bought with her gift certificate? No. She won't. Tell her, with a genuine smile on your face, that you bought a fancy face cream. Ask her if she likes the way it makes your skin glow.
Or are you worried that purchasing something to replace/augment the darling son which she so lovingly raised to be the most perfect man on earth is .. just not right? Or that you will think of her every time you slide Mr Gooddeeds out of the bedside drawer? I have to say that if you choose wisely, that your mother in law will be the furthest thing from your mind when you have alone time with your new friend.
So, the long and short of it, no matter what your concerns are, is yes, it is more then ok, it is highly encouraged. She did after all, intend for you to purchase something you would enjoy.
I think that anything PETA does, they do more for attention then they do for animals. I'm not a fan.
I believe animals, even those grown for meat, should be treated humanely. I also think woman should be treated humanely. If two ladies would like to make veggie porn - let them. But I don't see how two faux lesbians posing with a carrot furthers the cause of animals. Nor does it make me want to eat carrots because, EW! Where has this carrot been??
I do however, have clients who are probably masturbating to those images right this moment.
So congratulation PETA for making some poor lonely pervert happy.
I would suggest going with either the Fleshlight or something from Tenga. I wrote more about them on my blog... http://deadcowgirl.com/2011/04/male-masturbation-devices/
Hi! We actually haven't talked about it since before our first IVF which resulted in Monkey. At this point, if we could afford to adopt, we could afford another round of IVF... so both are out of reach. :-( In the future we may consider it. As of right now, I think if we can't have another baby, we will spend some time trying to be the best parents to Monkey that we can be. We may consider it again in a couple years.
Yes! Totally bugs me! To me, slavery and submission is something that needs to be negotiated and then earned. Just assuming they are my slave sort of makes me feel stalked... after all, they know me. They have seen my web site and have read all about my interests. I know nothing of them - aside from the email they sent, in which they can say anything they like.
It's about the same things as signing a letter to a personal ad as "Your Boyfriend X." I'm pretty sure we can all agree that is a letter that would immediately be deleted and looked at as creepy. Signing it "your slave" is the same thing.
No. I didn't even abstain while pregnant. I did sessions until I was 37 weeks pregnant. And then I only stopped because I was TOO LARGE TO MOVE. (Unless there was food involved. Then I was as quick and limber as a cat.) Clients were still trying to book with me. My clients don't get to see my breasts, only, my cleavage, which is hyped up on Fredrick's of Hollywood Cleavage Makers Bras, so I'm sure they had no idea if I was breastfeeding or not.
http://deadcowgirl.com/2011/01/double-penetration/ This one required a visual...
For the first several years I worked in BDSM, I played as a switch - someone who likes to give... or receive. I really enjoyed it because in real life, I am a switch. Most of the really good Professional Dominatrix I know either switch in real life, or have spent considerable time as a bottom. Being on the bottom teaches you to to empathize unlike any class or book can.
Since I was working in a house, there were always lots of people around and usually I was seeing someone who another girl had already seen, so I felt pretty safe. In general, clients in this situation never know what big burly beefcake is in the other room listening for the slightest sound of non-consensual distress so he can come in and pummel him. Or? Call the cops. Clients tend to be very polite not wanting to take anything home to the Mrs, like a black eye or an arrest record.
The protocol is pretty much the same as when I see submissives now. We meet and talk about limits and what the clients interest are, and then we play. With one exception. Clients who are tops, almost always have to ask, "If you aren't going to suck my d*ck when I tell you to, then you aren't really submissive."
To which my response was, "If you aren't going to respect my limits, you aren't really a top."
That generally shut them up. If not, I could opt not to see them. Even as a Pro Switch, BDSM to me, was about playing, not about sex. Once you let sex be a part of it, then the session ends up being 10% play, and 90% sex... which is not what I wanted to do professionally.
Personally... on the other hand... that's another story.
During this negotiation time, I was able to suss a client out. Sometimes, for what ever reason, you get a weird feeling from him. It's just a feeling, but in this business, sometimes that's the only thing you have to go on. More then once I would decide that I was not OK with blindfolds, or a certain bondage position the first time I played with them and would let them know I saved that for repeat clients. Some understood, some didn't. Losing a couple bucks was MUCH better then being violated for a couple bucks!
Once play got under way, yes, very difficult not to take notes! Sometimes the client would be a super cute, and turn out to be a horrible top. You would have to figure out how to get them to change what they were doing without offending their novice top sensibilities. I often pretended to be a LOT more sensitive then I was OOoo'ing and squirming as soon as they would start flogging or spanking me just to make sure they didn't go overboard and take out their aggressions on me. Or much less flexible then I was so that when they tied my hands as far behind my back as they would go... I wouldn't be asking them to loosen the ropes, that he had just spent 20 minutes arranging, in 2 minutes - and I would be MUCH more comfortable. I learned a lot about proper warm up from these boys. I also learned that respecting limits and pushing limits are two different things.
Then sometimes, a client would be ... not all that attractive, and as soon as we started playing I would realize, they were an amazing top. I would be taking mental notes on their demeanor, what they said, how they said it, trying to analyze everything and figure out what about them made my submissive side come out. These guys would know how to do little things that I would never have thought of, adjusting a strap, eye contact, or my position to make me feel more vulnerable. More vulnerable means more submissive. Those where often the tops that I trusted more too. That didn't ask about sex or insist that I would like something I knew I wouldn't. Trust is a huge tool in the dungeon, and if you don't trust your top, you can't really open up to them and enjoy playing. I needed to trust that they weren't going to violate my boundaries, either out of stupidity, inexperience, or sinister motives.
As dirty as I thought my mind was going in, I realized, I was a complete novice to some of these long time players. From role plays, to a million uses for string... It's amazing how creative a mind gets when it's alone in it's office with it's kink for too long. And? I will never shop Home Depot without a smile on my face again! I've had tops bring in home made everything from Home Depot; electrical toys that scared the bejessus outta me (no thank you!!), clamps, rope bras, home made paddles and floggers ... some amazing... some ... not so much.
Pro Subbing is also where I learned that self confidence is another of the biggest tools a top has. Those cute little newbie tops had none. While the other guys, they knew what they wanted and they made it happen. I know so many Dommes (and other sex workers!) who think there can only be one top, and that to build them selves up, they must tear others down. I think that those Dommes reek of insecurity. Personally, I try to show self confidence in the dungeon at all times, even when I have no idea what my plan is.
Or worse yet, my plan goes horribly awry.
Which it does.
Yes. Everyone except my elderly grandfather, but even he knows something is up. My older kids figured it out when they were in their late teens. For the most part it's not really discussed though. It's not a big deal after all these years. It was at first of course, but then, like any kind of Coming Out, family realize that they need to love you for who you are. The ones that can't handle it, that think your lifestyle effects them personally need to be weeded out of your life sooner or later anyway. Because if they are going to judge you for your sex life, they are going to judge you for other reasons and your relationship if never going to be a healthy one.
Robin WiIliams? I met him on the streets of San Francisco. He was watching a girlfriend and I rehearse Hamlet in front of a cafe. We were VERY caffeinated and being very goofy. He signed my script.
I've met a few famous clients in the Dungeon but will never whip and tell.
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