I can't think of anything consensual that I would consider "wrong". There are things that are illegal, like having sex with kids and killing people, but I'm just the kind of sick bastard who thinks those things should be legal with consent.

They can and they do. Just because humans are the only animals you can understand doesn't mean they're the only ones who talk.

I'm more afraid of looking up than looking down. I look up at the sky and think, "There's nothing there! How can there be nothing? It's just empty space! THERE'S TOO MUCH NOTHING HERE!"

Whenever there is a lot of room above me, like when I'm outside or even in a movie theater, I freak out on the inside. It's like the opposite of claustrophobia, I guess.

Open-world, sandbox stuff, I guess. I'd say beat 'em ups, but it's really only a choice few that I think get it right.

( ;ﾟДﾟ)

OUT MY ASS

I gave my ex-girlfriend $200 when she lost her job and I helped my friend meet his fiancee.

Yes. For one entire summer, I went to a bar every couple days to meet someone. I just sat there and talked to nobody. It takes a lot of courage to stream and make videos and such, and I even find talking on the phone or on Skype to be uncomfortable. Sometimes, a friend will want to stream something with me, and I'll just be like, "I need a break from social interaction for a few days."

I'm tidy enough that I always try to jizz into a tissue, but I sometimes miss and squirt all over my shirt, and I'm messy enough to just keep wearing it.

Death.

I feel awkward trying to find a way to say "I always feel awkward".

Should I masturbate or play video games?

The answer has been the same every day since I met her in 2005, and that's terrible.

I won a spelling bee.

I thought I was the only one who asked them to hold the cheese.

As video games, TV, and movies are getting more and more violent, the number of violent crimes in real life are actually decreasing. In my opinion, this is because a lot of people's violent fantasies are satisfied in a virtual setting, so they don't have to apply it to a real setting. I believe that's why a lot of school shootings are committed by people who play video games; intelligent people are attracted to video games, because they provide them with a form of therapy. It's important to remember that therapy doesn't always work, but usually does, to some capacity. In fact, it's been shown that people who play first-person shooters are often afraid of shooting an actual gun. As for me, knives frighten the hell out of me.

So, with that said, why shouldn't that apply to sex? Most lolicon, from my understanding, is very tame—and yet, even if a person were to draw a comic about raping and murdering a baby, who is that going to harm? The very idea of a comic causing someone to rape and murder an actual baby is nonsense; you'd have to be completely insane to do something like that. No comic can make you insane.

Let's recap:
•Violent games make people less violent.
•Fictional guns make people afraid of real guns.
•Disgusting sex acts involving fictional people harm no one.

So… what the hell harm could a naked drawing of a fictional little girl possibly do to anyone? None. We just happen to have the misfortune of being born into a world where "If I don't like it, it should be illegal."

I can't say nobody saw this coming, with this being 2012 and everything.

Appliance of my penis to your face.

Meh.

My first name, David, was inspired by a number of people. A few I can think of off the top of my head…
Davy Jones, musician from The Monkees (not to be confused with the guy with the locker)
David Marcus, James T Kirk's son
Davy Crockett, "King of the Wild Frontier"
David Clayton-Thomas, musician from Blood, Sweat & Tears
It's also likely my mom wanted to give me a name from the Bible.

My middle name, Allen, is unknown, even to my parents. They had decided on the middle name Clayton (due to David Clayton-Thomas, mentioned above), but for whatever reason, my mom insisted on Allen when she was in the hospital. Maybe she was drugged up and thinking about David Alan Grier.

The other middle name I like to use (sometimes ironically), Spartacus, was chosen because I wanted my initials to be a reference to my favorite video game series (Rockman DASH), as opposed to the stupid-sounding "DAH". I couldn't think of a more fitting name than "Spartacus", because it's a funny name to have, and because it's symbolic of rebellion (which is partly why I'm not making it a legally recognized part of my name).

My last name, Hawley, comes from the English "haw" (a type of berry) and the Old English "ley" (meaning "field"). Yes, my ancestors were very British, contrary to the shirt I'm wearing right now, which reads, "Kiss me; I'm three-fifths Irish!"

Finally, the name Cleveland Rock comes from my hometown (Cleveland, Ohio), the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum that can be found there, the star of my favorite video game (Rock Volnutt), the song "Cleveland Rocks" by Ian Hunter (and made famous by The Presidents of the United States of America), and perhaps subconsciously, the phrase, "Hello, Cleveland! Are you ready to rock?", which can be traced back to the parody band Spinal Tap.