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All responses Most smiled responses
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I mean, it is technically the Arab Republic of Egypt.
And they are part of the Arab League.
Saudi Arabia has more land mass, maybe, I think, but Egypt has the largest Arab population.
Also I would agree they are way more culturally significant than Saudi Arabia, because the Saudis are just sort of stuck, whereas Egypt has been unstuck. And really, in perspective, Egypt is changing all the time, cause 30 years is just a drop in history, and Egypts had all sort of governments and occupations and stuff like that. Change of any sort, whether good or bad, leads to cultural significance. Egypt still has the active muscle to go places, whereas the Saudis are all sorts of wasting away in their cage. -
None of them.
Nice weather only highlights how miserable and despicable you are, deep down inside your soul. Warm weather makes people want things they don't have, and hate themselves for not having them. At least when it's cold and barren and awful, you can stay in bed and not feel guilty. But when it's beautiful outside, then you're a waste for staying in bed for 12 hours.
Which is why you should always make your friends go outside when they hang out with you. Just to be sure. The more outside a person is forced to be, the happier they will be, true story. Houses are terrible things. -
Hot wings. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Broccoli. Nunzio's pizza. Oreos.
What the hell is up with yoga recently? I mean, it's been a staple of the hipster lifestyle for years, but all of sudden its like everyone I know is going to yoga every night. Hot Yoga, Rock n Roll Yoga, Midnight Yoga, Lesbian Yoga, Beer and Yoga. It's like Yoga suddenly diversified. OR it's like yoga is actually the code word for brainwashing sessions, where humans are turned into mindless drones by insidiously thin alien overlords. -
I'm taking a road trip to Harrison County OH. It's full of ditches and small hills of kudzu and warm wet green and mud and those weird little towns where everyone goes to the lottery place for entertainment. And I'm going to take lots and lots of photos, of everything. I think a project this year might be to hit up different counties for the day each weekend. I like that idea a lot. There's ten counties along the lake alone. It could keep me occupied for, well, 88 weekends at least.
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I think you should go through every Miss Marple book, and plant an entire garden of flowers that have been used as death threats, warnings, and poison delivery devices. The English Garden of Death. Hydrangeas. Lily of the Valley. Sage. Yew. Lots of flowering ground cover for hiding bodies. Roses. Geraniums.
Or you could do an entire garden of flowers that mean bad things. Like rhododendrons mean "beware", marigolds mean "pain", mint means "suspicion" and aloe means "grief. Hydrangea mean "heartless". Think of all the awesome bouquet combinations you could give people, and no one would know. -
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So the "right" answer is to point out that if a Born Again was constantly trying to argue you out of being an atheist, you would want to slap them silly and freeze their assets.
But my actual answer is: Live a better life than them. -
Well it's all a series of bells and whistles, like we all access it at different points, and enter information, and then that information gets coded and stored in a server, which then makes it accessible to millions of different networks, and there is a magician who sits on top of a frozen pyramid somewhere in Antartica and he sacrifices small goats, like twenty at a time, on the Ides of every month right at the peak of the moon's ascent, and then all that information that you translated from your misfiring neurons into arbitrary words and then arbitrary pixels get beamed to someone else's screen and the whole thing is FUCKING INCREDIBLE.
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People do nothing but make sense. They are always predictable in their responses, they do the same things over and over again, they are as easy to analyze as the back of the cereal box.
It's just that you probably don't like the answers. And you think things should be different. But they are not. They are always the same. That's what you have to work with. If you can't adapt, then
that's your decision.
Being a hermit isn't very appealing though. Hermits never get laid, and they dress very badly, and they are stuck with their own putrid thoughts all the time. I think the main purpose in interacting with other people though is just so you don't have to think about just yourself all the time.
If that's appealing to you though, then go for it. But don't go halfway. Do it all the way. Get rid of any pets you have, for starters. They lie to you anyway. -
Oh My God SO EXCITED. Jere told me the other day I really needed ANTM to start again, didn't I? And I immediately got super happy that it was going to! Soon! And then I will have stuff to be mean about again! Oh man, I am just going to rip into them this season. This is going to be my best season of recaps ever in the history of me writing about tv shows. I think I might even post a greatest hits collection this week, to get us all psyched up for it.
I'm sorry, did you think this blog was about something worthwhile? Sucker. -
Someone who gives good blow jobs. Duh.
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No. I am avoiding everything having to do with couples at all on Monday. I am very happy for all of you that are couples, there are some pretty good couples out there right now, but going out on Valentine's Day if you're single means you will only be around couples or desperate bitter singles who are looking for someone to validate their not by choice lifestyle. If you want to find me, I will be at the gym, singing under my breath to Vampire Weekend and watching muted Discovery Channel shows. If I'm not there, it means there's someone I'm not telling you about.
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A car!
No, a pony!
No, a painting!
No, a necklace!
No, a gym membership!*
No, a month's paid utilities!
No, 3 acres on the moon!
No, a hotel room and a bottle of vodka!
No, a manifesto listing all of their closest friends, and why you would never sleep with them!
No, a food processor!
No, a gift certificate to a wine shop!
No, a video of you listing all the reasons you really hope they never stop sleeping with you!
No, a trip to the sex shop to buy anything she/he wants!
(that last one is a real one that one of my friends is doing, which is a pretty good one.)
*actually, you really shouldn't do this one. You shouldn't probably even bring up the gym to them ever. -
If there's absolutely nothing you care about doing or accomplishing in your life, like if you have no desire to travel or make friends or see cool shows or work at a job that doesn't kill your soul in hourly increments, then you are absolutely right. You should just give up now. But if you are going to give up completely, then make sure you are also not posting about it to FB or twitter or on your depressing tumblr, because if you do, you're not really giving up, and then on top of being a depressing and unproductive person, you are also a hypocrite.
Things that are worth trying to be productive for:
1) A sense of well being because your house is clean and doesn't remind your friends of an episode of hoarders.
2) sex
3) money
4) a group of friends that will hide your obvious alcohol issues under a blanket of being "social"
5) fame (see #4)
6) a sense of making the world a better place (see #2)
7) having developed and interesting hobbies so you aren't forced to think about yourself and your failure as a member of society, and maybe you have something else to do on a beautiful day rather than watching Law and Order reruns and eating microwaved fish sticks. -
Since maybe technically I AM the older set here? I think you may be mistaken about that.
I mean, there's nothing inherently wrong with body hair.
I guess.
But it sucks getting rug burn from just making out.
So maybe it's because younger girls' skin is not calloused and overtanned like a football left out in the backyard over the winter, and therefore more sensitive?
Or maybe younger girls still bother taking care of their body hair, so they expect you to too?
You know what all girls like? Guys who don't care about their body issues. -
There is no way. You are going to piss her off. There are things that happen in people's lives, weddings and births and deaths, where really you just have to go along with what they want.
Which is why you should be careful about who you let become a close enough friend that she would involve you in her wedding. Because you are going to go through something like this with every close friend you have at some point. So if you don't really love them enough to put up with the craziness, you probably should have been keeping her at arms length the whole time.
But before you go disowning half your friends (though seriously, not a bad idea), how about taking her out for drinks, giving her a vicodin, and talking to her about it? After the vicodin kicks in. Her craziness is coming from stress and fear, not about the wedding, but about her future. Above all, when you broach the subject, keep yourself out of it. Express your concern for what she's putting herself through. That way, even if you get nowhere, you don't get labeled the unsupportive bitch. That's how all the good cons work anyway. -
He would probably "get it" if you told him.
Why do people refuse to confront people on things like this? We all know logically it's better to make issues like this clear to someone right away, that even if it hurts their feelings, it's better that they not stay confused and you not be vague. But every time a situation occurs, even one like this where you don't want this person in your life, we agonize over our actions. We're not agonizing over their feelings, only our own. We're just being selfish and avoiding confrontation because it makes us uncomfortable. Just man up and tell the guy you don't want to be friends. He'll never contact you again, and if he does, then you can feel completely guilt free in talking shit about him to your friends. -
Do they? I would try this out, but I only have one egg left and I'm not wasting it in a microwave. Who cooks eggs in a microwave? I mean, I guess if you don't have a stove. But if you do, fucking go wash a pan and cook that properly. That's something an animal produced from it's body, give it a little respect.
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I like to be asked things that have nothing to do with me or you, because those details will come out in the answers anyway, but instead about things that exist outside our emotional lives. Subjects that make you have to think about the rest of the world. Asking questions like that are the nicest thing you can do for another person.
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Get cats. Lots of them. Old cats.
This is a double edged sword though.
Maybe start shaving your cats in the bathtub without the drain catcher in?
Or, hey, crazy idea, you could move and stop giving him money.
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Bridget Callahan’s Bio
I will totally tell you the truth.
