So, You're in an alley with pirates coming at you from the left, and zombies from the right. You're equipped with 3 paperclips, an A5 sheet of paper, a 5 inch piece of string, and a salmon and cream cheese bagel. What do you do?
I unravel one of the paper clips and make carvings into the cream cheese on the bagel, making sure to eat the salmon first 'cause lots of protein there. The carvings I make in the bagel are identical to the carvings in those old records. I take another paper clip and tie it over the bagel so it acts as a needle and then I spin the bagel so that the sound of Justin Beiber's voice comes blaring out. Meanwhile I write as many lyrics as I can remember on the sheet of paper so I can sing along, and they all get so scared that they just kill themselves.