America's Most Wanted.

Glow-in-the-dark.

The dumpster.

"The Rusty Tromboners!"

The numbers are infinite, but the noodles aren't crafted from conventional human material, hence their cheap resourcefulness and abundance during times of despair. Ramen Noodles can survive an atomic blast and withstand the nuclear fallout. When the world gets nuked during an inevitable event of World War 3, it's Ramen Noodles the survivors will clutch to -- not the numbers.

Super Mario Brothers movie? Maybe. Waterworld? Let us never speak of this movie again.

Cowboy boots.

My pal Milano and I are starting a death metal jazz scat band called "The Bow-legged Rickets!" Think of The Jungle Book's King Louis meets Cradle of Filth!

As a partial Roma Gypsy, I have the ability to generate whiskers in rapid amounts of time. If I shave my face on a Monday, I'll be scraggly by Friday, and a full beard will be present by the following week some time. It really comes in handy for playing roles in indie movies when the character is required to have a beard, and my face is currently smooth at the time of the casting announcement. The sideburns are always usually kind of there -- although sometimes getting trimmed down smaller or flatter, but rarely never removed completely. In fact, since age 16 (when the mutton chops first appeared), I've actually only totally shaved the sideburns off in their entirety probably less than 10 times -- and only shaving them slightly smaller or slightly flatter depending on a job's facial hair code (i.e. food factory jobs).

The Brunkipedia has actually been removed a while back fro various reasons: the main reason was that when I moved to New York, I was trying to ignore most of the mistakes of my past and move on to a new life, so to speak -- and The Brunkipedia openly broadcasted my entire life story to the world -- good things, and bad things. I had articles that described my relationships with jobs (such as describing how I got fired), which looked bad for potential employers who were doing background searches! Now, my current site contains a simple bio and FAQ, but written more tastefully and with a lot of personal things omitted for that reason. And finally, at one point the entire Brunkipedia database -- like my other PHP ventures (forums, shoutbox, et al) were totally overrun by spambots!

Currently, Baronvonbrunk.com is mostly just a site for displaying my recent updates and such, with links to my social media personae -- e.g. Facebook, Twitter, DeviantArt, Tumblr, Flickr -- as the Brunkipedia & the BVB Forums were made at a time when social media was still small and insignificant.

I donate plenty of sperm several times a day, I just don't get paid for it.

Played out!? As Al would put it, "I don't think so, Tim!"

Hell no; parachutes are for pussies. I'm a helluva tough badass super-stud, so I go skydiving without one. Sure, I break every bone in my body and sever my spinal column each time, but chicks dig injuries.

1978.

Whilst I may not live in New York forever, I shall never under any circumstance move back anywhere remotely close to Lancaster, PA -- as I had a terrible reputation there with no chance of advancement nor opportunity. I would only consider coming back if Cathy quits smoking and announces she wants to be my eternal bride, so that we can live in outer space and build sandcastles on the surface of Mars.

I try to reach for a towel, but often times the loads I spew end up splattering on the monitor and/or keyboard. What? Don't make that face; you asked me.

I would take a rubber hose and flog his rump -- just I like I previously did to Superman after I caught him in bed with my girlfriend!

The schizophrenic demon voices that cuss at me and put me on a spooky damaging disharmony hell bus ride.

Three dimensions? Pfffft. 4-D hypercube vision is where it's at. Get with the '90s.

She is, actually, but her nipples are all thick and weird looking -- so it kind of cancels itself out.