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All responses Most smiled responses
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This is a pisstake, right?
Either way, there's no need to SHOUT. -
I'm quite lucky, I think - I don't have time to go swimming as often as I'd like to which won't do it any harm and I make sure I don't wash it too often as that wrecks it (the number of people who do theirs every day baffles me), but mostly I just don't do much with it at all. It's a bloody mess most of the time, but I gather that's better for the condtion than endless straightening, blowdrying and spraying chemical waste all over it.
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Well I'm from the north and we don't really have that here after a bit of snow - the only thing tends to grind to a halt is me. I quite like having an excuse not to have to go outside, to be honest, although I was hoping to be able to wear my smart snowboots this week until I woke up today (after getting back late last night) to find not a trace of anything.
I don't really worry about hotels, trains and the like. I'm in a far better position than a lot of people would be if they got stranded, and bearing in mind we're not quite in the third world yet there's always somewhere to go/stay if you do get stuck. It does make me grateful I don't drive though - these stories about people having to sleep in their cars on the motorway don't sound pleasant. If I wanted to sleep in a fridge I'd pick the one in my kitchen with the cheese in it. -
Well, lets see:
Washer-upper/kitchen assistant
Waitress
Barmaid
Bar supervisor
Shop assistant
Shelf filler
Cleaner
Animal looker-afterer (no particular title)
Volunteer (various)
Window dresser
Decorator's assistant
Factory worker (various)
Food handler
Machinist (very briefly)
Leafletter/ticketer
Artists model (also briefly)
I've probably forgotten a few over the 20+ years, and a lot of these were running concurrently - I had three part time jobs on the go at one time and two was usual. Thank God for self employment. -
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. At least it's good to know that they're going to turn up and not repeat your room number aloud in the hotel lobby, or whatever. Twice yesterday, that.
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Why would I be annoyed? My job is to ensure that punters leave happy - that's what I'm paid for, and if they do that means I've done my job well even if that means they're concentrating on my left knee. I couldn't give a damn.
If there are working ladies out there who would actually object to the point of annoyance at anyone not 'paying attention to them as whole people' they need to get the fuck over themselves, stop taking punter's money, join a dating site so they can find a real boyfriend and leave the rest of us who can understand the difference to get on with the job in hand.
Yes. It has been a long day. -
Well since they're all services I offer I've no reason to mind, have I? Most people wouldn't leave it until the booking to mention it though; a genuine fetishist would ask when booking so I'd know already.
Foot fetish isn't really a spur of the moment thing, I don't think (or it might be with some people - who knows?) -
Read the lady's advertising text properly, address correspondence politely (including using her name and signing off with your own) and try to use adult language. If booking by phone, keep it concise - say hello and then get on with it - have a specific date, time and booking duration in mind. If you don't, don't ring until you do.
Follow whatever confirmation instructions you are given - if you are asked to ring before a certain time on the day, make sure you do or you'll likely lose your appointment. If the time requested isn't possible, just say and arrange something else rather than leaving it until an hour before the booking and expecting her to keep it for you - she won't.
Shower as close to the booking as possible, wash your genitals (including pubic hair) properly and ditto under your arms - it never ceases to amaze me how many men don't seem to know about anti-perspirant.
If you've been travelling for more than an hour or so or used the toilet, have another shower (or in the latter case, at least a wash).
Have the correct money ready and hand it over promptly and without being asked. I've had to ask three times in the last week, and whilst it doesn't me unduly, I'd rather not and I shouldn't have to.
Be aware of the services which are on offer and more importantly, which are not. If the service you want isn't provided and it's important to you, book somebody who offers it.
Don't ask inappropriate or personal questions - if you wouldn't ask your doctor it, it's probably not OK to ask us either. I have no idea whether my doctor is married, how long he has been a doctor, or whether he likes his job or not and I've known him for twenty two years.
Don't ask us what we like, what we want or worst of all, if there's 'anything you can do for us'. We are here to service YOU, and you'll only get nippy if we ask you to put the kettle on and run round to Costcutter for a Twix.
Enjoy yourself! And if there's something you're not enjoying, for God's sake say so.
I'm a bit knackered, so there's probably some glaring omissions there but it'll do you for now at least. -
Nah. My flight was a bit late leaving, but all that effectively did was give me more chance to stuff my face with horrendously expensive omelette at Gatwick. And it did look pretty (there's nothing here in Jersey, btw - it's very nice).
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Not really; I suppose I'd probably quite enjoy it if I had a go, but I don't have the imagination to make up stories and I don't really know a lot about anything non-fiction wise! Food, maybe.
One thing the world of literature categorically does not need is yet another sad 'LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!' prossie memoir, that much I do know. It didn't even need the second one. -
Stay in? Works for me.
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Loads. Absolutely loads.
'Escort' I find particularly objectionable not only because it's pretentious but also because it's misleading - not everybody is that au fait with the industry and there are still people who think escorts are different to prostitutes, which doesn't help them or us. It helps even less when some of them are the poor, unwary souls who pop up regularly on SAAFE having stumbled on some scam agency ads for 'social' or companionship 'escorting' because these reinforce the myth that it's both possible and commonplace to earn a living being taken out for dinner and to the theatre and so on, which is crap.
Of other words that irritate me, it's really just the mimsy euphemisms - things like 'date' instead of 'booking' or 'appointment', or being asked to 'meet'. The most obnoxious ones tend to come from the States and refer to services - nobody who uses terms like the repulsive 'DATY' in any communication will ever be breathing the same air as me either. And don't get me started on the many exciting ways to spell the sweet stuff in jars that bees make... -
A huge furry dubstep monster like the one in the New Music radio ad. I'd settle for fish and chips with peas and a pickled egg.
EDIT: clip of monster :D
http://youtu.be/v3MNKCf86PU -
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Not at the moment, but I do aim to have a proper break this year. Preferably somewhere hot with lots of big umbrellas to sit under and somewhere to charge my Kindle.
My favourite place to forget about work for a few days is home, but it's a lot easier said than done. -
God, I don't know. I actually had somebody ring me last night at going on for 8pm to ask if I'd 'changed my mind' after he'd rung in the morning asking about a booking and been categorically told I wasn't available all day.
If he'd read even a word of my site it would helped (and if he hadn't sounded like he'd had five pints), but to ring back after it was dark and try to 'talk me into it' was possibly the silliest thing I've heard recently. He actually said he'd written the number down three months ago, so leaving it until the day to do anything about it makes the whole thing even more bizarre.
Still, it all gives my call blocker something to do. I can't describe some of the very silliest ones, because they're barely in recognisable English so I don't know how to spell them... -
Not really, although a couple of people have asked when I've been away somewhere - I think some must think I just cart my entire life about on my back, like a snail. The green jumper is the most common one (until I explain that it really is just a tatty old green jumper) and then the red ballgown in the picture here which is far too fragile to get knocked about, and not exactly discreet for me to answer a door in either!
I don't wear 'fancy dress' costumes for bookings anyway as anybody who has read my site would already know - the maid dress was just for the photos, and they were mainly for a particular client. It is a rather nice (and expensive) one, mind. -
Thank you!
Indeed it did - I've had swimming and sauna then homemade southern fried chicken with crinkly chips and salad plus chocolate eclairs, none of it made by me which is even better.
Am now enrobed in the big quilt watching 127 hours. Result. -
Me! I don't know how to be anybody else.
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Worst: Liverpool, Glasgow, Coventry, Bristol.
Variety of reasons - awful accommodation, no mobile signal, tons of timewasters and idiots on the phone, even just crap location. Every single bad one has been down to lousy research or not enough of it, to be fair, although fortunately I think the only one where I didn't cover my costs was Liverpool (and that's mostly because my phone didn't work).
Best: London, New York, Belfast.
All have been the busiest places, but also very few problem clients (Belfast is timewaster central, but they're all so transparent on the phone you can spot them a mile off and I have most of the regular numpties blocked from my phone anyway). They're all wonderful places to both visit and work from, even if it's just in terms of amenities and so on, and the people in them have been my favourites.
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Amy Vergnes’s Bio
Scarborough's scarlet woman!
Independent Yorkshire lady available for incalls and outcalls. Busty, brunette, fun and frisky!
Follow the link to my site for the whats, the whys, the wherefores, and the how-muches
