Ask me anything

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    1. Alpha Bleat

      Literally nothing. Well... at a stretch the London transport. But it really is shite.

    2. Alpha Bleat

      Criminal Intent by Robyn, it's all sorts of fucking brilliance. Though had I answered this question when it was actually asked it was probably Heavy In Your Arms by Florence or Excuses by The Morning Benders.

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    7. Alpha Bleat

      Funny you should ask, because apparently I have a very distinct smell. People walk in my room in halls and say "Oh, this smells just like you". I don't know if this is good or bad.

      Hopefully though I smell like the man your man could smell like.

    8. Alpha Bleat

      Through marriage, would ewe believe it. She's a total bitch though.

    9. Alpha Bleat

      Heritage? Erm... East London mother, Northern father, grown up in the suburbs of London.

    10. Alpha Bleat

      I don't hate either of them. I don't even think I've said a bad word about them.

    11. Alpha Bleat

      I fell in love with someone when I was like... 15. She actually quite liked me and her friends said I should ask her out and I was too shy and a prick and said no and basically I regret it. Shucks.

      (DISCLAIMER: I very probably had a crush before this, I just can't remember one that particularly stands out!)

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    13. Alpha Bleat

      It was me... ME! I admit it. It was with the candlestick in the parlour. I'm sorry.

    14. Alpha Bleat

      Well my last victim could only remember being face down, ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off. I think it was alright.

    15. Alpha Bleat

      I'm 5'10". I never really got why Rihanna made a song so fixated with height, how odd.

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    19. Alpha Bleat

      I'm never satisfied. I actually think it's very irresponsible of you to give into my demands as I should really be working. Thanks, prick.

    20. Alpha Bleat

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