Please submit your question. It may be answered on "Ask Demetria", each Thursday (abelleinbk.com)

Recent Responses

    1. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 8 Mar

      so when will Q&A thursdays begin?

      it began yesterday: abelleinbrooklyn.com

    2. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      So your formspring is gone so does that mean we need to sign up for coaching to b able to ask you a question?

      You may still ask questions. I'll respond to one each Thursday for "Ask Demetria"on abelleinbrooklyn.com. Please check there to see if your dating/relationship question has been answered.

      If you would like immediate assistance or have a career question, then yes, please sign up for coaching at abelleinbrooklyn.com/coachedbybelle (Online group sessions are provided monthly at a discounted rate.)

      You may also check abelleinbrooklyn.com for updates on my next book "Don't Waste Your Pretty", coming soon. It will answer the most frequently asked questions about dating/relationships.

    3. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Only BW on my team. had a telepresence call at work and i ha a terriblr migraine.I even left early .and today my boss called me and asked me if I was happy with the company bc I looked upset on video. Im confused. She already knew I had headache what give

      Thank you for your query.

      Please check abelleinbrooklyn.com each Thursday for "Ask Demetria" to see if your dating/relationship question has been answered.

      If you would like immediate assistance or have a career question, please sign up for coaching at abelleinbrooklyn.com/coachedbybelle (online group sessions at a discounted rate take place monthly)

      You may also check abelleinbrooklyn.com for updates on my next book "Don't Waste Your Pretty", coming soon.

    4. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Mutual interest betwn coworker and I. We are now both in bad moods bc I said no abt dating since were cowrkrs. I like him sooo much. What to do? How do I get over it and be patient?

      Thank you for your query.

      Please check abelleinbrooklyn.com each Thursday for "Ask Demetria" to see if your question has been answered.

      If you would like immediate assistance, please sign up for coaching at abelleinbrooklyn.com/coachedbybelle (online group sessions at a discounted rate take place monthly)

      You may also check abelleinbrooklyn.com for updates on my next book "Don't Waste Your Pretty", coming soon.

    5. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Was out to din Wth fiancé and an ex fling of his walks up to table wih fake congrats and asks to see my ring I said no. Politely. Was I wrong?

      Thank you for your query.

      Please check abelleinbrooklyn.com each Thursday for "Ask Demetria" to see if your question has been answered.

      If you would like immediate assistance, please sign up for coaching at abelleinbrooklyn.com/coachedbybelle (online group sessions at a discounted rate take place monthly)

      You may also check abelleinbrooklyn.com for updates on my next book "Don't Waste Your Pretty", coming soon.

    6. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Safe to say that constant calling and/or texting isn't showing enough interest? Even if both parties have busy schedules shouldn't some effort be made to go on an actual date? I don't want a pen pal, I want a boyfriend! He doesn't get why I wanna walk!

      Yes, if it isn't trying to see you and there are not extraordinary circumstances preventing him, he's not all that interested, or he's horrid BF material.

    7. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      when it comes to going out on dates with random men (no common ties, just met and asked to take me to dinner) what are the rules? he seems nice, well kept, manners, all the basics. proceeding with a dinner date should be harmless right?

      Yep.

      Just and FYI. Dates are public. Not sitting on a couch in somebody's house.

    8. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      In ur opinion & experience, y do ppl act nonchalant and like they don't give a damn when relationships or friendships fall apart? Is it a defensive mechanism from the actual hurt? I dealt w/this with a BFF&bf recently as if I meant nothing the whole time.

      Sometimes it's defense; sometimes they genuinely don't care. Either/ or if "I don't want to be bothered" is the vibe you're getting, don't push them to change. Just back off.

    9. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      I asked guy if he wld come over & help build a piece of furniture since that's his forte. Nxt day no call, I txt & he sends LONG msg about how he's busy w/fam. I say no prob, I'll ask someone else. He's mad that there's another guy I cld ask. Am I wrong?

      if he's not your BF, no, not wrong. and his communication is lacking a bit. a simple, "hey. can't today, but i can XXX" would have cleared all of this up.

      that said, throwing it in his face was a lil tacky.

    10. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      PT1: Me&x broke up. Wk or so l8tr he apologizes for being a jerk about things& he was going thru some things yet not an excuse. He then goes into telling me he's really working to get his stuff together. Is he trying to say hes get life 2gether for us or

      "PT2: was he just tellin me this just to say it? He didn't say it was in regards to us but what he was saying made me wonder if he wanted me to know he's taking a serious step into gettin it together cuz he want us back together or was he just makin convo"

      i can't reasonably guess as to why he was telling you that. but whether it was talking to be talking or he's really about change, words don't count. action does. do you SEE action or you HEAR him talking?

    11. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Belle, Im dating guy and its going i would say good. i'd catch him just staring and it at times make me uncomfy and i'd say "what?" then he goes into i wanna express myself but i cant. wtf gives?

      Eh. He's smitten. It wears off.

    12. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Belle not OP but what is considered a "newbie" in writing?

      Someone who is just starting out. 1-2 years.

    13. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      I'm confused I want to date find a bf but dont you need to build a friendship first ? How do I date for friendship and possibly bf in the long run. Is it just finding a like minded person or putting the bf thought away and just meeting friends

      You build the friendship as you date.

    14. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      We been talking for 2,5 mos Didn't get physical. Met on vacation, he returned home before me. When I got home, he went abroad again. Came back last week, saw him but he got sick. Said he'd call when he got better, 3 days later still no call. Keep waiting?

      I can't call it based off this question. It seems more like a timing problem than complete lack of interest.

      That said, the sick thing is kinda weird. It's not like he can't pick up the phone because he's coughing. Doesn't need to talk for four hours or even 10 mins. Ehh... Give it a week.

    15. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      pt 1: guy & I have been beating around the bush for a while; he expressed interest b4, but I played it "too cool". We chat online often & have developed a friendship; live in diff states, I hit him to let him know I'd be in his area this wknd

      "pt 2: we agreed to meet up on Fri night & Sat. On Fri, he hit me to confirm if I was still coming into town, we firmed up details on where/when we'd meet. Later on as I was getting ready to head to venue, I hit him to see if he was on his way yet & he"

      "pt 3: tells me he's on his way to a diff location -_-. I inquired about previous location/plan & he said he wasnt going there nemore, told him I was taking it down, said he'd hit me the next day. havent heard 4rm him - safe to say he's uninterested?"

      not interested... or respectful. and has a GF.

    16. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 4 Mar

      Great man I am building friendship/relationship with told me that he has never been in love. He said he is working through childhood abandonment issues because he wants a family and love. Lost cause b/c he's not ready now?

      depends on what he's doing to "work through". if nothing concrete, then lost cause.

    17. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 3 Mar

      not op- but if things dnt wrk, & both walk away to better themselves and revisit l8r is it a bad thing? I walked away once .He was consistent in not wanting to lose me and respected my need for space. We worked on a friendship, its gr8 & now we're engaged

      nope, not a bad thing. CBW and I have the same story.

      but that is not the scenario that the prev poster described. walking away once is diff than 3 times in the last 18 after dating for 2.5 years prior.

    18. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK responded to qutinawatson 3 Mar

      RE: Writing for free...So, how do you suggest that I find magazines that will pay me for my work? I can't say I am a "newbie", but I can't seem to find a company that will pay. Maybe I need to sign up for your next career sem because it seems I need too

      pitch your ideas to bigger sites.

    19. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK responded to Formspring 3 Mar

      If you could only wear one color for the rest of the year, what would it be?

      black.

    20. Demetria L. Lucas
      ABelleinBK 3 Mar

      Guy sent me a message online dating I responded 3 messages later he sent his number , I sent mine back and told him to call . No call what gives I can tell that he still looks at my profile ?

      he's not all that interested. if he was, he would have called. next.

ABelleinBK

Demetria L. Lucas
ABelleinBK

Demetria L. Lucas’s Bio

Brooklyn, NY

www.abelleinbk.com

Lucas is a life coach and the author of A BELLE IN BROOKLYN: The Go-to-Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life (Atria)