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I wouldn't say it offends, but you've gotta admit it's pretty ridiculous. I wouldn't use it myself, and it definitely wouldn't play well during anything sexy.
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Aaa this is such a good question. I feel like our circle is pretty good on checking about trans people's preferred terminology, but I seriously don't think I've ever been asked this, ever. Which is a shame because I have OPINIONS!
I hate "boobs," like so much I hardly want to type it. I'm okay with "tits" but it seems really vulgar to me. Usually I just go with "breasts."
I don't have a great word for "vagina." I'm not going to correct someone for saying "pussy," but it's not something I would think to use myself. "Yoni" is going to make me laugh or roll my eyes, sorry. I feel like there has to be a lot of comfort/familiarity before "cunt" comes up -- if I've ever heard you using it as an insult, for example, it's off the list. This means that most of the time I'm totally doing the nonspecific romance-novel thing, like "I want you inside me" or "I'm so wet for you." But being vague is totally better than ridiculous euphemisms!
I don't think I really take exception to any butt words. There is one butt word that inexplicably makes me incredibly big-eyed and submissive and embarrassed and turned-on, but I'm not telling here.
In general, I don't really hate any other words except for ones you're supposed to hate -- crazy euphemisms or purple prose or gross jokes. They all make me cringe really badly. It's not joking, it's genuine! -
Haha, this is the easiest question for me. I don't have any tattoos! I only have four piercings, two in each earlobe.
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I'm a jerk for not answering this sooner!
May/December relationships kind of depend at this point. I used to be totally fine with them (my longest spread was 14.5 years). But I'm not May anymore myself, so if I go that much older now, I'm starting to worry about sex drive compatibility. I already kind of feel like I missed out on my chance at dating permanently turned-on 19-year-olds! I'm less okay with robbing cradles, probably because there are fewer people younger than me, and they're less likely to be in a similar place in their lives.
Who do I want to fuck in what way? Among people we know, or like exes or celebrities or what? Awhile back I wrote a blind item about scene people that's deliciously scandalous and mostly still applies, I think. http://www.formspring.me/1pt25girls/q/157022536050174168 -
Oh snap, I think I'm in trouble. When @whipsandchords tried to go for her max the other day, I mentioned I might try it Sunday, but then I did other things on Sunday instead.
In college, three was pretty normal. I know I'm not in college anymore, but I'm pretty sure I could do 4-5 if that was my goal.
HOWEVER, I'm all shy and stuff, so if I had to do it in front of someone, 3 would be pretty challenging. It takes longer if I'm not alone, and it takes longer each time. So although I *can* always come, after awhile, it just gets embarrassing and I say it's not going to happen. -
unf unf unf -- I MEAN...
Somehow I don't seem to have a lot of free time. I'm not sure how that happens because I'm working a lot less than I used to! I do cook dinner every day -- making/eating/cleaning is usually a minimum of an hour. I do a lot of chillaxing, which is defined as "stretching out on my bed, at least semi-naked, and fooling with my phone" (on twitter, tumblr, some website, or just playing games). I've been trying to get more sleep, which has been working, and to go to the gym more often, which has only been sort of working. Lately, I totally should be finishing unpacking and doing apartment-y things like hanging curtain rods and shelves, buuuut that doesn't always happen.
I definitely also wonder where free time goes. I was hoping that with the new, lighter job, I could do things like watch TV/movies, knit, play ukulele more...yeah, none of those have been happening consistently. -
I don't have a favorite hot sauce! I don't really use hot sauce. SO BORING, SORRY.
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Uh, as my bedtime enforcer, shouldn't you be recommending "Sleep Even More"?
Kidding! "Sleep No More" sounds super awesome. It's just expensive, and I would be mad to miss most of it (you can't see it all at once!). Sooo...want to go again? Anyone else interested? We could split up for the performance and then share stories afterward. -
You totally didn't ruin it! And...it is kind of my favorite thing to cook, because it's SO EASY. But not counting that, probably something in my crock pot. Or eggs -- I make really good eggs. Or else baking of some kind (cakes? brownies? cookies? pies? I don't know!).
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I would LOVE a dinner party or two dinner parties or lots of dinner parties. Let's get on this! When's good for you guys?
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I don't have a real assistant! We have a freelancer who's coming in for a few weeks to help us out with some stuff, and somehow now I'm in charge of her and delegating my work to her. But she's not full-time and it's definitely not a permanent situation.
In general, ordering someone around hasn't changed me a ton. It's not a new thing; I was the editor-in-chief of the student-run newspaper throughout high school, and an editor in college. I've had other bossing-people-around jobs before, too. It's not such a huge deal, because I'm submissive sexually but not so much in real life. You know the stereotypical executive who's all take-charge professionally, then sees prodommes to beat the shit out of him on his lunch hour? I'm like that, except female and 24 and not forced to pay for it (yet!).
That said, I AM kind of uncomfortable with the current situation. This freelancer is older and more experienced than me, and she used to work at this company full-time before being laid off a few years ago. Now I have a job (a new, created position) and she doesn't, and I'm supposed to tell her what to do even though she's older and classier and experienced-er. That's the awkward part! I'm coping okay externally, I'm just second-guessing myself a bunch on Twitter! -
I hate to be a huge cliché, but it totally depends who it is. I love Shakespeare in the Park, and I've had awesome dates there (not just fictional ones!) but also a terrible date there. If it's the right person, a date can be great even if there's not much planned or even if something goes wrong.
On one of my favorite dates, EVERYTHING went wrong. It was raining, we walked like six-seven miles, I didn't have dinner, we saw a terrible show, we spent hours trying to find a park with a tiny bit of privacy -- and failing. I had an awesome time.
I've been wined and dined at fancy, classy places, and had shoes bought for me -- and I've gone out for delicious burgers or BBQ, or gone dutch, and had equal amounts of fun. Sometimes silly little dates are fun ones! I had a ton of fun helping one guy choose a duvet at Macy's. When I dated a guy who was a book nerd and a design nerd, we went to the Strand and fished around in their cheapest book carts. We'd pick up a book and try to guess the date it was published based on its cover and title -- it was surprisingly fun and we both got pretty good at it. That plus a little hot chocolate made a great day.
Probably the most planned date I've been on was one he planned around a theme I chose: film noir. We went out on the perfect, rainy evening -- we were both really appropriately dressed, down to amazing trenchcoats. He took me to a Hopper-esque diner, then an upscale club with great jazz, and then we went to buy a DVD of The Maltese Falcon and went back to his place to watch it. Needless to say, I still haven't seen The Maltese Falcon.
SO I have no helpfully concrete recommendations. Things we both enjoy, intelligent conversation and joking around, making each other feel good and desirable, taking advantage of only-in-New-York places or events, and -- if appropriate -- LOTS AND LOTS of hot, rough sex. -
Excommunicating me for not remembering that the "brunch thing" on my calendar was HIS brunch thing. :(
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I don't think I have any scene frenemies! In other words, YES. I'm going to be a really pathetic demo bottom, though, because I can last about 2 seconds before cracking under the weight of your disapproving stare. (Also, will your lovely assistant Arti be providing aftercare?! Because HELP.)
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I haven't jello wrestled! I am super into wrestling (obvious much?) but not in jello. I hate being messy, and I hate combining food with sex/play. You should ask Arti's dad about this!
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I hadn't been planning on it! I sat around trying to decide until it was too late to get a buddy/ticket, and it's hard for me to do Friday-night parties. Plus, a sex party is awesome for people who want to go, but I feel like it's not really the place for me right now. I totally <3 unicorns and yandy and yandy's efforts, and I really hope that it's a success and that everyone who goes has an awesome time.
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UH-OH, it sounds like there's drama behind this door. Preemptively, you haven't done anything to upset me. Also, in general I'm way more concerned with not crossing any lines to upset other people!
In general I like to think I'm pretty okay about letting people know where my boundaries/limits are. In friendly, social situations, I have no problem saying "Dude, not cool" if teasing gets too rough or someone says something racist/homophobic/whatever (not usually a problem in this circle of friends!) that makes me uncomfortable.
In sexual/play situations, I totally admit I'm awkwarder. I'm good at declining offers once, with a "no thanks, I'm good." I'm also pretty good at fighting off attackers. Anything in between...I'm not so great. I don't know how to decline an offer for the fifth or tenth time while still being polite, so that usually leads to a lot of awkward on my part.
But the good news (I guess) is that it leads to awkward refusals rather than guilt-tripped sex/play. I don't usually get involved in sex/play out of being too nervous/shy/"nice" to decline. -
What list is this?! The fantasy list I wrote up before, with letters for code names? That's still on my formspring and nothing's really changed since I wrote it because I am BORING.
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I've seen (part of) the Breakfast Club porn, BUT I've never actually seen The Breakfast Club. I know, right?! I should get on that.
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I need to check formspring more because apparently I miss out on really good questions!
I'm not really great at cooking in general. I do cook a lot, but it's not a vast repertoire, nor is it really impressive stuff. But I'm good at baking! (Like everyone else, I know.)
I never really got into decorating until I moved and, oh wow, here's space I need to figure out! Once I have it set up, I'm not sure I'll keep up with design resources.
I sew a little, but not much. I'm fine with buttons, hems, things like that; I've made bags (and, in my younger days, about five million scrunchies) -- but it's not like I'm designing or sewing my wardrobe or anything like that. I always feel like I should get more into that, and eventually I'll probably have to.
I knit! I'm pretty good at that. I should do more of it, but what I have done is pretty awesome. Some of my pieces are just normal parts of my wardrobe now -- things like a shrug or scarves or gloves (I prefer smaller stuff because it's so much more portable). My goal is for my stuff to blend in, definitely not to look homemade.
I'm good at household management or frugality or whatever you want to call it. I have a budget and I'm pretty good about sticking to it. It's unusual for me to pay retail -- when I buy clothes, I wait for a sale, add a coupon, and get nice pieces for less than Walmart prices. Even for little things, if paper towels are on sale, I'll exploit that and form a little stockpile. I grocery-shop according to what's cheap that week (I comparison-shop, too) and base my menus around that. Leftovers always get used somehow. I know some people think this is all ridiculous or disgustingly cheap, but I really do save a lot of money this way -- and what young people in New York couldn't use a little more cash? You don't have to be a crazy coupon-clipper -- in fact, I'm not even as organized as Martha and her binder (I'm kind of in awe). I just pay attention to local sales, plus I have a few alerts (for my favorite makeup brands or clothing stores, for example) on slickdeals.net.
What am I not great at? I'd say my worst "domestic hobby" is cleaning. I definitely don't live in filth, but I don't follow FlyLady and I don't exactly deal with stress by scrubbing the baseboards. Things are clean enough, but let's be honest, sweeping is not a daily occurrence here. I'm embarrassed admitting that, but oh well!
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